Dad's latest excuse,
Is that he "just really likes child abuse".
‘Who is this mystery shitter? Bumprint analysis shows just a perfectly smooth torus’
Mum's lifelong work as a bogs-slut may unconsciously be an enactment of penis envy,
Dad just literally has penis envy.
When mum bends over, she can reveal,
The ingredients of her previous meal.
Busy night for mum in gents with blokes, seems like there's an awful lot of 'em,
With the willy-doublies she's taking on, it's goodbye perineum!
The noise the bikes made on the theme tune to eighties trial bike show, 'Kick Start',
Is surprisingly similar to your Mum's anal utterance after being arse-banged by loads of blokes and she does a shit fart.
Dad promising kids to show them his "miniature hippo",
And offering them £5 to watch them eat a Calippo.
Mum's doing the sexual can-can,
Dad's a sexual also-ran.
As long as dad's pulse remains flickering,
He'll be contemplating designs for kid's sexy knickering.
Early on Christmas Eve and already mum's brown-eye,
Resembles a broken, open-topped mince pie.
