Bum docs shocked following mum's colonoscopy,
After finding a bogs-bloke who'd been living up there since 1983.
Dad's failed to find a publisher,
For his paper entitled "why child sex is great and grown-up sex is much more rubbisher".
The bogs-blokes in the queue for mum, know exactly what beckons,
It's sloppy 3rds, 4ths, 5ths, 6ths, 10ths, 30ths, and so on (not just sloppy seconds).
Dad's offering to teach striptease,
To the under threes.
Mum's still caked in quite a lot of dog crap,
So she's waving the blokes in for an extra "victory lap".
Mum's knackered old "twattie,"
Resembles a couple of half-eaten burger patties.
Mum sometimes gets the willies
That one day she might not get the willies
Dad's been left in a competitive rage,
After entering the 'Prick-Tennis' Championships and getting knocked out at the semi-stage.
The judge's expression is extremely grave,
As dad explains how aliens were making him expose himself using radio waves.
"honest, I'm not a paedophile"
- Dad, caught naked from the waist down in Mothercare's "18mth-3yr" aisle
