Dad's goading the big-bogs-blokes on with a smirk and a snigger,
But he won't be laughing later on when his bum 'oles much, much bigger.
Your mum fucked Columbo (Peter Falk),
She injested a slightly surreal seventeen inches of pork.
Mum's writing to transport minister Grant Shapps,
To offer herself up as a receptacle for queueing lorry drivers' craps.
Mum: Entirely doused in wees
Dad: arrested after writing on census under 'sex': "child please"
Your mum's trying to undercut inflation by offering several '3 at a time' combinations
It was much more significant than a Freudian slip,
As the Psychiatrist's furnishings were blighted by dad's dribbly spunk-peppered horror-shit.
Whilst he was tearfully explaining about his small penis and 'how nothing would come out of it'.
Dad's genital is among
The very poorest with which it is possible to be hung.
Dad's still listening to Mumford and Sons,
Because he's got one of the world's littlest ones.
Most people in their right minds would think it barmy,
But dad can actually knock one out over Dad's Army.
Mum feels wronged
When she isn’t getting ‘triple pronged’
