Dad's always wondered if his willy really can be his,
Because it basically looks like a clitoris.
Not for the faint of heart,
To be stood behind mum during end of shift fanny fart.
Mum's twat: abysmal,
Mum's anus: abysmal.
Dad identifies with "Nemo" from "Finding Nemo,"
Because he also has willy size "zero."
Mum's bum looking extremely haggard,
Bigblokes are running her ragged.
Dad? Sexual laggard.
Time, tide and your Mum's libido know no bounds.
Where is she? Off doing her rounds.
(Earning sex pounds)
Mum's introduced a series of bogs Key Performance Indicators
Including 'gallons of dog mess used' and 'speed of bum'ole dilator'
Bogs-blokes loved ones looking for last-minute gifts,
Could do a lot worse than tickets for mum's famous All-night Xmas Shifts.
Mum's Arsehole Dilation Tracking Control Centre broke into joyful scenes of pandemonium,
As dilation monitors finally inched passed "Beyond Maximum."
