Mum doesn't want lubricant,
Anywhere near her bum and cunt.
Dad gets very dodgy spam in his inbox,
Mum gets chunks of meat in her shitbox.
Mum can leave a bogs-shift furrow-browed,
If her arse hasn't been sufficiently 'ploughed.'
Dad’s got a willy of a very unusual sort
It’s shorter than it’s thin, but also thinner than it’s short
Trying to do mum, but not "up the posh"?
Won't wash.
Dad believes he receives "all the right messages,"
From the under ages.
Dad's favoured choice of apparel,
Is alarmingly similar to that worn by Jimmy Savile.
Mum's never been considered a 'Beauty Queen,'
But the sheer number of enormo-cocked bogs-blokes she's fucked, is obscene.
Even though she's got a cunt that's becoming slightly cloyed,
News that Mum's in the gents tonight means blokes morale is buoyed,
The experience of nobbing her is something we've all enjoyed,
Except for Dad, of course, who remains sexually unemployed.
No bogs-bloke has ever complained
Of leaving Mum’s sessions with balls undrained.
