Hardly anything there at all.
20 Greek blokes inside a horse a la the siege of Troy
But rather than the eponymous city, it's Mum's arsehole they're out to destroy
Mum's not a drinker or a smoker,
But she can't resist a thirty-bloker.
Festive Dad’s been sacked from his Christmas Grotto job (as ‘elf on a shelf’)
Because he kept on furtively pleasuring himself
The mood in the bogs becomes solemn,
As bloke after bloke fails to meet mum's ever-increasing requirement for "width of column".
Shame your mum's shit-box isn't oven-proof,
she's been vesuvius-fucked by some weird-cocked yoof.
In the 1980's, Dad made attempts to be involved in finding resolution to the Cold War,
He thought it would help to diplomatically stand in supermarkets and stick his dick in coleslaw.
Spread misinformation about my ability to wear a learner bra
Outside the bogs, there was a crowd of pickets,
Upset at mum for remedying her crotch-crickets.
Your father failed to turn his bum lamp down low,
and, oh fucking jesus!
His whole arsehole's 'a-glow'.
Dad has very poor social and emotional intellect,
And a willy that simply will not erect.
