New bogs-blokes have to go through mandatory training,
In how to give mum a proper main-veining.
Your dad read so much porn at his job,
His cock looks like a corn on the cob.
Mum can't stand blokes 'fluffing their lines,'
When they're in queue, waiting to screw her behind.
As an experienced anal porn star, your mum's seen it all,
She's been involved in films that left everyone appalled.
Her range is such that thinking of new scenes gets tougher,
No aesthetic dilemmas for daddy - he's a common or garden gay porn film fluffer!
Dad's perhaps also the Harper Lee,
Of having a small, widely mocked thin-willee?
Mum’s bog-bloke ‘meet-cute’
Is always ‘in the bogs while being violently rammed up the poo-chute’
Mum's showing extreme impatience,
To be smeared with fresh shit from alsatians.
Mum fondly recalls long summers working the public bogs of Montpellier;
There were some seriously big fella there.
At the orgy of TV detectives,
Your eyesight was not defective,
Your dads size was not at all princely,
By comparison with Doctor Quincy.
Mum's interest is quickly piqued,
At the prospect of being thick-prickily "Greeked".
