In a sex act reporters described as 'frenzied' and 'bezerk',
your father's turdis was repeatedly hammered, and for shits it now won't work.
Stick a V2
in my poo flue.
Mum’s being nailed in the stonker
By Belgium and Aston Villa midfielder Leander Dendoncker
Cold night in the gents, mum's nips like docker's thumbs
Dad's keeping warm though: arse full of old sailor's cum!
Mum's privates,
Are more accurately described as 'publics.'
Breaking news from the bogs live desk:
Mum's shitter now "warzone-esque".
Mum's bum looking extremely haggard,
Bigblokes are running her ragged.
Dad? Sexual laggard.
Mum's dildo on the speaker cone...
Turn up the bass to drive it home.
Dad's got imaginary friends,
Who he sex-offends.
