a lot of blokes initially assume your mum's actually a tranny,
based on her stubbly chin and grossly distorted fanny.
Not for the feint of heart,
To be behind mum for the end of shift fanny fart.
Mum fucked Buddy the Elf,
And was left with extremely poor sexual health.
Everyone stood around your mum was really rather astounded,
It was alarming how many blokes she took and just how hard she was pounded.
After years in the gents, your mum is certainly not daft,
All the blokes she's fucked have honed both her cunt and her craft.
So entrenched are mum's pubic lices,
That, they too, are having mid-life crises.
Mum's smashed in the gents on Bailey's,
No entry for dad tho, due to terminal willy failys.
Dad suffers enduring and hurtful professional criticism,
That his learner bra designs "veer too far into the realms of aestheticism."
Mum prefers ‘Baked bean tin’
To ‘thin’
