Mum's up for getting fucking cunted,
By blokes who are intellectually stunted.
It's almost as if dad has a sixth sense,
For the opportunity to carry out a sex offence.
Mum: bogs-slut champ,
Dad: wanker's cramp.
Dad’s trouser snake gets hard (but remains spindly)
When he thinks about the crimes of Ian Brady and Myra Hindley
Dad's a persistent sexual voyeur,
Of the children's softplay foyer.
From mum it’s a ‘thumbs down’
If a bloke fails to ‘pot the brown’
During The Beatle's late acid phase,
your mum scraped a living squirting anal mayonnaise.
Dad’s bought a stripper pole
Made for a 3-year old
Dad's got a 30mm 'Classic Knob';
Compact and thin;
'Key fob'.
Every morning, dad renews his expectation,
That members of the public will want to see his 'erection.'
