The appeal of it may be somewhat niche,
But mum offers up a lovely 'ploughman's quiche.'
For mum, nothing could be finer,
Than three blokes apiece in arse, gob and vagina.
dad's less wise than an owl
and less cunning than a fox;
but he knows what he likes:
the utter destruction of his shitbox.
Dad's promoting a series of outlandish snake oil tinctures,
Claiming to make household objects resemble kid's sphynctas.
Dad is claiming he’s a paedo because his gens
Are the size of small children’s.
Packed out gent's last night, mum starred in a no holes barred sex-fest,
But it was embarrassing for everyone when your dad turned up and made a little 'dirty protest.'
Mum nailed by blokes with a Burger King Whopper,
Leaves her with a "botty-sting slopper."
Mum's down at the conference centre,
Letting any bloke with a lanyard enter 'er.
Bogs historians doubt the veracity
Of claims that, once in 1987, Mum reached her ‘bum capacity’
