Mum's internal dialogue,
Is a relentless repetition of "get fucked in the bogs, get fucked in the bogs..."
Mum's bum is hosting a charity Antiques Roadshow Fuck Tournament,
In which blokes compete by inserting unusual artworks and ornaments.
Dad's new Artisan Food Truck,
Does have a suspicious whiff of dog-muck.
Mum often reminisces about working the docks of the Adriatic,
Many of the cocks were immeasurably thic.
Dad's not had any rubs for years (poor him),
Last fuck he had was 'duck' from TV's 'Rosie and Jim.'
Your father's (very remote) chances of getting some 'between the sheets time',
would have marginally improved had his cock not been suspended in brine.
Amongst blokes, your mum's appallingly buggered-to-bits-bum has become highly prized,
No such joy for dad; his pathetic non-cock has been universally described as 'poorly sized.'
Your dad was quite daring,
enveloping that wrongbox ballbearing
(everyone in Asda: staring).
End of shift, mum produces a perfectly serviceable, high-protein "peanut butter,"
From the hallowed depths of her poo-gutter.
Mum's star status as an internationally renowned bogs-slut may be dimming,
But she's still capable of taking an absolute "brimming."
