Dad still listening to Little Mix,
Cos he's got a little unthix.
Uh oh, mum's been ploughed,
By the really big-willied crowd.
Dad's been caught "upskirting" and "downblousing,"
In and around vulnerable young people's housing.
rectal abomination,
corporal punishment,
bum log flagellation.
Dad has some rather unpopular ideas,
Regarding acceptable behaviour toward young children's rears.
Darts-blokes are really letting fly,
At mum's golden bullseye.
‘Who is this mystery shitter? Bumprint analysis shows just a perfectly smooth torus’
Mum's gone viral,
With her performance art piece wherein she is a urinal.
Very little is written in your father's day planner;
"Wank myself blind whilst listening to Jan Hammer".
Dad’s wanked himself hypoglycaemic
