Dad's favoured choice of apparel,
Is alarmingly similar to that worn by Jimmy Savile.
Usually 10p gets a 'Wham Bar' or 'Chomp',
but in this case complete access to your mum's 'horror-swamp'.
Dad's becoming increasingly careless,
In his sexual persuit of the "hairless."
Bogs-blokes have wiped completely off the map,
The area from which mum used to crap.
Mum knows bogs-blokes will put on the anal after burners,
When she sticks on the encouraging "Simply The Best" by Tina Turner.
Dad's watching grainy footage (8mm)
Of him in a playground fiddling with his penis (8mm)
Mum went off to the 'Bum-'Ole Destruction Spring Fayre,'
Came back with anus-status: beyond repair.
In middle age, Dad's 'horn'
Resembles (in shape, smell, texture, colour and size) a 3-day old defrosted Iceland miniature prawn
Dad's in a sex shop 'on the rob',
mum's in the gents again,
'on the blob'.
Christmas morning: blokes are flocking
To open up Mum's "nether stocking"
