Faces, and then shit and piss.
Dad' decked out in an executioner's smock;
deeming it time to behead his own cock.
In her seat, mum's adjusting,
After another arsehole busting.
Mum's in the bogs, with eleven or twelve
Blokes who legally cannot make decisions for themselves.
Mum's attempting to practice mindfulness
During receipt of a 'spine full' (mess).
On the fart-box market your dad's been fleeced,
It was like a dream, when his shitter increased.
When your mum's loitering in town, it's guaranteed some bloke'll pot the brown;
And in her shit, drown.
For one half of a Twix
Mum'll take up to 20 pricks (thix)
Dad's conflating the idea he has feminist principles,
With the fact he has tiny and dysfunctional genitals.
Dad's experiencing massive FOMO
Seeing Wetherspoon massive homo.
After all these years, and all those fucks, it's a wonder your mum's not bitter,
There must be a God, I mean, what else, could rejuvenate her poor old shitter?
