Mum's films rarely have a complex plot,
They're predominantly about her getting pummelled in the bot.
Mum is extremely genial,
To those seeking to access her genitals.
'Mater's in the billiard room having a round of anahl with the gardener'
Go on Tinder and pre-emptively post all of my potential matches a large format Pantone graded catalogue of all my turds, and a large Sports Direct style mug with my face on
After 25 laps of relentless bogs ‘getting nasty’
Mum pulls into the pits for an F1-style emergency vaginoplasty
It's the learner bra industry annual awards season,
And dad's application for catwalk modelling is simply beyond reason.
Dad’s applying for research grants
Investigating the contents of small boys’ pants
Mum's been working the docks, entertaining able seamen,
Come the end of shift, she's about 90% semen.
For a packet of rich tea biscuits (Tesco own brand),
Mum'll entertain a whole parish of farm hands.
Even though dad’s barely got a willy
He’s definitely a paedophile
