Come end of shift, the structural integrity of mum's poo-ledge,
Is on a knife edge.
When Mum says a bloke is ‘well proportioned’, what she means
Is ‘his knob is roughly the proportions of two stacked cans of Heinz Baked Beans’
Even in the midst of a global economic slump,
Mum's prices remain set: she's the local free spunk-dump.
Mum's smashed in the gents on Bailey's,
No entry for dad tho, due to terminal willy failys.
Let's break out the bubbly!
Your mum's up for a willy-doubley!!
mum's nightly pounding in the gents': savage.
dad's sexual performance: well below average.
In her distinguished career, mum has gone a long way to debunk,
The myth that there is a limit to ingesting spunk.
Like those of the cherubs of Bellini,
Dad's willy is weeny.
Your mum's on Karaoke: appalling, 'doo-woppily',
dad's playing wrong-monopoly, massively sloppily.
Mum's not particularly scrupulous
About who she lets into her poo-palace
