Dad's queing at the council offices seeking planning permission,
for a thimble-sized horror-bin to house his feeble emission.
Dad had settled down for some 'private time' watching Friends, The Reunion,
But, as usual, he's gone and come too soon again.
Lyrca-clad dad at the kid's Xmas softplay party stood under the mistletoe,
Primed and ready, with a distressingly visible camel toe.
International Sex-Pest daddy in the dock about to get jailed,
Meanwhile mummy still in the gents getting unbelievably nailed.
Mum's spent a life working in retail,
Selling blokes her fuck-tail.
Dearly beloved, we are gathered here to screw
Mum, after the service, in the gents' loo.
The only time mum's threatened to go on strike?
After bogs-blokes failed to ride her like the village bike.
At such moments of political uncertainty, bogs-blokes find it reassuring,
That mum remains available for her nightly "back-dooring."
Mum's up for getting fucking cunted,
By blokes who are intellectually stunted.
The overriding consensus,
Is that dad has an extremely small penis.
