Police have accumulated an enormous amount of concerning data;
Relating to dad being a habitual inappropriate masturbater.
terrible things i've seen,
your dad, a jar of Ragu and an ancient figurine.
Mum writes a popular blog,
On life working the gents bog.
Mum could be said to be a little 'punch drunk'
If by 'punch' you mean 'gallons of different blokes' spunk'
Bum engineers are concerned it's just the tip of the iceberg;
Up mum's poo caverns they have discovered an enormous sperm-berg.
Sick bags were reached for in the editing suite,
In the final cut of mum's film "Hot Lunch: All You Can Eat."
End of shift, mum produces a perfectly serviceable, high-protein "peanut butter,"
From the hallowed depths of her poo-gutter.
Mum's favourite French dish is Coq au Vin,
Followed, of course, by cock of man.
It's artistic, intrinsic and can't be learnt,
your father's installation: 'My Arsehole's Burnt'.