Mum’s inability, when propositioned by blokes, to say ‘no’
Has left her bum’ole looking like post-siege Sarajevo
Charged with gross indecent exposure (of the penis and testicles),
Dad claims he was under the control of extraterrestrials.
Dad's tiny willy issues: insurmountable,
Mum: mountable.
So comfortable is mum receiving a right old arseholing,
She'll often be bent over with a cuppa and on her phone scrolling.
After the church's Sunday afternoon children's service, now begins the inquest,
Into how long dad was stood in the Nativity scene undressed.
churn my back end butter.
Mum's up for getting fucking cunted,
By blokes who are intellectually stunted.
dad's less "ecce homo" and more "eek! a homo!"
but his bum's pro bono, and he's definitely "pro bone-o".
In the 1980's, Dad made attempts to be involved in finding resolution to the Cold War,
He thought it would help to diplomatically stand in supermarkets and stick his dick in coleslaw.
20 Greek blokes inside a horse a la the siege of Troy
But rather than the eponymous city, it's Mum's arsehole they're out to destroy
