Your father in bed with a Jesuit priest,
He's left him something to think about (infections, yeast).
Dad's a persistent sexual voyeur,
Of the children's softplay foyer.
Outsource the care of my anus and scrotum to a nanny, and then send them to public school in order to emotionally cripple them
Dad's latest letter to his MP demands
Immediate access to all under-5s' OnlyFans.
Bogs historians doubt the veracity
Of claims that, once in 1987, Mum reached her ‘bum capacity’
Eureka!
Mum's invented the new double-holed knicker!
Last night, there was a lot of bogs-blokes muttering,
After mum inconceivably chose to go buttering,
Her poo-guttering.
Mum refuses to 'go thin,'
Hence her 'butcher's bin.'
For the first time ever, Mum's described her bum as 'a bit sore'
Although horrified onlookers described it more akin to the state of Warsaw
In October 1944
