the sole item in dad's sexual curriculum:
continuously being showered in shit, piss and cum.
Mum's an inveterate bonker :
She'll let any Willy wonk'er
Mum makes her own luck,
By always being up for a bum-fuck.
Bent over, mum's derrière,
Resembles a plate of charcuterie.
Most people in their right minds would think it barmy,
But dad can actually knock one out over Dad's Army.
One would have thought mum wouldn't have so aggressively whore'd;
Immediately after slopping you out in the bin of the maternity ward.
Mum’s launching an urgent investigation
Into rumours that some blokes are considering the use of lubrication
Mainly, your father's seen as preferring blokes, y'know, a bit of a 'fairy,'
Except for that time he fucked warbling pop-twat, Mariah Carey.
Dad quite rightly denied possibility of parole
After arrest for his invention: the ‘dolls house gloryhole’.
Access to mum's crap-chute,
Descends into a total crapshoot.
