Mumβs prone to shout and splutter
If thereβs not a lengthy line of blokes sporting a βdiamond cutterβ
Technically,
Dad *has* got a willy.
Dad lying awake at night, endlessly relitigating old arguments,
About whether he can be said to have anything at all going on in either the "sexual" or "genital" departments.
Regrettably, in the contract signed, dad's boss failed to stipulate,
that it's inappropriate to fist oneself, and continually masturbate.
Mum's got an extremely liberal, positive attitude towards immigration policy,
Because it means more blokes turning up with potentially bigger willy.
Dad's just been released on parole,
For distributing children's colouring-in books made up of images of his arsehole.
Mum's bum finally approaching "nicely filled",
By bloke with prick like a child's bicycle.
Mum's introduced a series of bogs Key Performance Indicators
Including 'gallons of dog mess used' and 'speed of bum'ole dilator'
The coroner's report stated 'accidental death,'
After a bogs-bloke inhaled too much of mum's bowel-breath.
Dad's installed a 24 hour live 'Zoom'
At the exit of the toddler log-flume.