Mum simply cannot endure,
Piss without a strong odour.
Dad’s a sort of modern day Peter Purves
Except that rather than making kids happy, he makes them nervous
Come end of shift, the structural integrity of mum's poo-ledge,
Is on a knife edge.
Dad? Sexually retarded.
Mum? Bum-farmyarded.
Occasionally, mum reasserts the bogs ground rules:
There needs to be pricks that are thicks, piss, and, of course, stools.
Disappointed dad feels that whenever he publicly gets his willy out,
There's either a lukewarm reception or a low turnout.
Mum's poo-cellar,
Is flooded by the spunk of fella.
Dad's subjecting himself to some really unkind self-talk,
Concerning the appalling condition of his fuck-stalk.
When dad shows the spectrum kids his trouser gerbil,
It usually makes them go non-verbal.
Mum's appearing on 'Noel's HQ,'
For the tireless work she's done in the loo!
