Mum's well liked in HMV:
She's always up for a DP (or TP, or even QP),
Right there among the vinyl and CDs.
Relationship-wise, dad's going steady,
With his VHS recordings of Rod, Jane and Freddy.
Mum’s booked on ‘Mastermind’
Specialist subject? Yep, it’s ’taking it from behind’
Your dad got confused during the vicar's tea,
he shat on the biscuits and dunked them in wee.
Dad's prick situation is complicated:
Evidence suggests it's somehow evaporated.
Mum's prepared one of her famous 'Welsh rarebits'
(That's right, a load of coal miners' spunk applied liberally over her baretits)
piss in my mouth,
while singing any of the several hits of nineties popsters, The Beautiful South.
Mum produces a daily arse-paella,
Which is essentially the spunk of loads of fella.
Bedroom prowess, hit and miss.
Items involved - shit and piss.
