The sight of your mum being done by loads of blokes,
Perfectly normal for all the gents-visiting folks.
At the orgy of TV detectives,
Your eyesight was not defective,
The well-mannered and deferent Albert Campion,
Declared your Dad the bum-fisting champion.
dad finally won a game of scissors-paper-stone!
now it's his turn to have his piss-maker-blown!
Mum’s not one for online dating
Preferring the traditional ‘being pissed and shat on through a rusty iron grating’
Tick, tock, father staring at the clock;
He's got an appointment with his crinkly horror-sock
(penis never dock).
Mum's never been considered a 'Beauty Queen,'
But the sheer number of enormo-cocked bogs-blokes she's fucked, is obscene.
The farmhands are all having a "big cock-off",
And the winner gets to "sledgehammer mum's lock off".
It seems a little bit harsh, but very true of your mum: Everyone's been between her,
Things improved when she met that bloke who administered that 'Cleveland Steamer'
(Tenderly, on the bonnet of his rusting, 80's 'Beema').
Blokes have never been sent to the clink,
For what's been done to mum's poor stink.
afterwards your mum said I was sick,
to use her apron to wipe off my dick
