In 1972, dad represented Great Britain in the Paralympics,
Winning gold in the 400 metres breast-stroke: category 'men with no pricks.'
Dad's experienced a humiliating cock-flop,
While exposing himself at the Build-A-Bear Workshop.
It's a cruel world, and there's no reprieve, from your mum's abysmal wizard's sleeve.
Dad’s out cruising in his old jalopy
Offering kids a trip to meet ‘Mr Floppy’
Every one of Dad’s days begins
With hours of doomed research on how to ‘cure the willy-thins’
Blokes find it hard to fault,
Mum's poo-vault.
Dad believes he is something of a cause célèbre,
In his determination to "crawl the primary school curb."
Dad's the most notorious of the local pervs,
Unzipping his flies and offering restaurant-goers some very unappealing crotch-hors d'oeuvres.
Dad's willy doppelganger,
Is the end of a wire coat hanger.
Don't spoil it;
it's just your mum being done in the toilet.
