At the orgy of TV detectives,
your eyesight was not defective,
your dads bottom did not baulk,
at the size of Peter Faulk.
Dad first discovered he prefers men,
In a toy shop, after spotting Barbies' Ken,
(left premises in police custody after committing sex-offen').
It's Christmas Day, and mum's not in the kitchen stuffing the turkey,
She's still in the bogs, getting stuffed by huge blokes from Turkey.
Mum's in the bogs, absolutely "flying",
At the centre for assisted dying.
Castrato-knobbed dad in failed attempt to get gens 'juicy'
Unable to find anything with
prick-fit 'not loosey'
All dad's attempts at sexual intimacy have been utterly slapstick,
And that's before we factor in a prick that's so unthick.
Playground dad arrested halfway out of his cycling shorts,
Wibbling about little green men "trying to steal his thoughts".
Supermarket trolly-gone-wrong,
rally-dad speeds up (tyres gone),
Which isle do we end up in?
The coleslaw one.
Late eighties mum, getting bum nailed by John Barnes,
Penilly comparable to the arms of hands of farms.
Mum's sole concerm,
Is willies that are big and firm.
