Catastrophic bum injuries that might normally give rise to feelings of grief,
Instead seem to almost bring mum a sense of relief.
Dad never "lasts,"
When he's watching YouTubes of Russian gymnasts.
It’s beyond the whit of the world’s top bum-surgeon
To restore mum’s arsehole to a state even remotely resembling’virgin’
Mum doesn't even wince,
As her arsehole's ground into mince.
If you go down to the bogs today you're sure of a big surprise,
For every bloke that ever there was,
Will gather there for certain because,
Today's the day that your mum get's covered in piss and shit.
Dad's doing a stretch in 'Wormswood scrubs',
"Finally, some decent 'rubs'".
Dad's career as a lollipop lady hit the skids,
When he blatantly showed his willy to kids.
On sunny days, blokes hang outside the gents, stick on a BBQ,
And mum'll be inside getting a good skewering over the loo.
Dad feels he's been marginalised,
Due to how he's been 'sized.'
Mum fails to exercise discretion, she's clueless as to what that's about,
She's 'brown-bread fucked' (like Hovis), 'wi' nowt taken out'.
