You used ignorance and brute force,
And never once a flicker of remorse.
Mum's in the bogs every night doing bum-stunts;
Dad? Claims (implausibly) that he "did sex once"
It is with perfect tone and diction,
That mum is able to declare "that is not a sufficient erection."
When it comes to turdis-wrong,
your dad's got the tee-shirt,
turned away at the vicar's disco
(it's smothered in cock-yoghurt).
Mum's achieved 100% market capture,
In sector "knee-tremblers in the crapper".
Dad’s perving round the primary schools of Nantes
Luckily for les enfants, his gens are the size of an ant’s
Mum's gives out "Well Done" smiley-face stickers,
To bogs-blokes who got in her knickers.
Dad "Hi sorry, don't want to be an imposition,
But can I quickly just borrow your kids a minute, to try out a sex position?"
Your mum's in the bogs
(post winning pub quiz),
the prize?
to be shit on and smothered in jizz.
Oh wow, tonight for mum's bum, it really is 'Cliffs of Dover,'
Last night's all-night enormo-farmhand bogs-party has gone and carried over!
