Staple me onto your crotch.
Mum's been clear with the blokes since day 1:
It's "nil by cun",
All up the bum.
Dad regularly gets an erection
Browsing the 'children's literature' section.
Dad's had a bit of luck on the 'gee-gees',
he's won an evening of horror-sex with the two deceased 'Bee-Gees'.
A bogs-bloke has been disqualified,
Due to a "slight thinness" that mum spied.
On sunny days, blokes hang outside the gents, stick on a BBQ,
And mum'll be inside getting a good skewering over the loo.
Giving you the silver because the real power move would have been to execute the shit while on the call
For Mum, God created the Heaven and the Earth
Then a succession of blokes with enormous girth
Mum's producing a weird, brown fondant,
From her cunt.
Dad's always wondered if his willy really can be his,
Because it basically looks like a clitoris.
Mum's plan?
Taking pricks from massive to gargantuan.
