Dad was wrong when thought he might be more of an attractive man,
The evening he went out after applying his own shit as a sort of fake tan.
Your mum's crevice is invertly proportional to the mass of Ben Nevis.
When your mum's in the gents there's always such a busy kafuffle
Weird really, considering her cunt resembles a bucket of butchers offal.
Mum has developed a uniquely atrocious strain of halitosis,
Due to a core diet of Buckfast, spunk and dog faeces.
It's 2008 'Worlds Biggest Bucket Cunt Championships' Round 1: How many car tyres?
Your mum's already got 12 up there...she's off to a flyer!!
On HRT, your Mum grew new hair
All around her penis and scrotum.
(These, also, weren't previously there).
(Stiffy like a pole - totem).
Research reports on your father's genitalia,
Key quotes: 'comparatively small' and 'operationally, a failure.'
Dad and chums enjoying a dress up party for Eurovision,
In the high security nonce wing of Whatton prison.
Mum's one of the favourites to win this year's 'Sex-Factor,'
Dad in lowly bedsit room measuring his prick with compass and protractor.
20 Greek blokes inside a horse a la the siege of Troy
But rather than the eponymous city, it's Mum's arsehole they're out to destroy
