To blokes, mum appears to have a generously divisible twat,
Dad's continuing his affair with ex-Crew Alexandra, Aston Villa, Bari, Juventus, Sampdoria, Arsenal, Nottingham Forest and England World Cup Italia '90 last minute-extra-time-volley-goalscorer, David Platt.
As a poofter, dad's really into his flower arranging,
He's done some designs for local leisure centres (mainly so he could watch other men changing).
It's quite shocking how little mileage,
Mum n' blokes get out of a gallon of dog-silage.
Mum's getting an absolute filling,
From Bournemouth Premier League player, Philip Billing.
Take a series of photographic shots,
primarily of my arsehole, and the resultant slops.
Absolutely insist that I ingest,
the piss and shit section of the "Reader's Digest".
Dad still listening to Little Mix,
Cos he's got a little unthix.
Mum’s bog-bloke ‘meet-cute’
Is always ‘in the bogs while being violently rammed up the poo-chute’
Dad's willy shows no signs of ever thickening,
But his behaviour towards kids is truly sickening.
Mum's on a strict diet,
Of spunk and dog-shite.
