Dad's decided to start having wanks,
On the doorsteps of food banks.
Over the years your mum's taken in quite a few male lodgers,
She's also taken a few cocks up the arse (by blokes known as 'Jammy-Rag Dodgers').
It's only the second week of February,
And mum's 2025 body count is already "very, very many".
Mum has an extensive, far-reaching army of talent scouts,
Seeking blokes from all over the world with willies large enough to satisfy her poo-spout.
Blokes have never been sent to the clink,
For what's been done to mum's poor stink.
Per annum,
Mum takes approximately 5000 men up her bum.
Mum’s booked on ‘Mastermind’
Specialist subject? Yep, it’s ’taking it from behind’
It would appear, sir, that it's irrefutably true;
Your mum's been literally caked in dog poo.
Dad listens to a lot of Enya,
Which is common amongst child sex offenders.
Eccentric dad, poorly hung, Penny Farthing;
Mum's in the bogs, on her way to 'halving'.
