Utterly destroy my arsehole.
Mum has several large gin and tonics,
Before sorting out the thin and thics.
Mum's throwing a "no loads barred" bogs bumsex party,
Guest of honour? Yep, it's Saikat Chakrabarti.
When it comes to ‘doggy style’
Mum’s current pric-thicness cutoff is the 99th percentile
Mum's main area of knowledge,
Centres around 'arseholedge.'
Your dad's ability to gain an erection: long gone,
Now, even when looking at blokes, it's just an eighth-on.
Bogs-blokes are claiming it's a fix,
That mum's much-vaunted "last hour of the shift," is once again dominated by the "ultra thicks."
'Mater's in the billiard room having a round of anahl with the gardener'
Dad's watching grainy footage (8mm)
Of him in a playground fiddling with his penis (8mm)
Your mum's daft;
She's just knitted a knob scarf,
from all the crusty spunk-scum clogging up the bath.
For your mother to receive an OBE from the Queen seemed only fitting,
She has worked tirelessly in the porn industry (predominantly in films about shitting).
