On a routine, daily basis,
Mum probably consumes about 8 kilo of human faeces.
Mum's published a rather fascistic charter,
Detailing the specifics of how blokes should screw her up the farter.
Harvest my arse dregs
In dystopian poo-kegs.
Mum's getting drilled by former Heavyweight champion Riddick Bowe;
(Enormous 4k distended horror-prolapse emerging in slo-mo).
When your mum's loitering in town, it's guaranteed some bloke'll pot the brown;
And in her shit, drown.
Mum’s ’bum dot matrix’
Only accepts prix that are thix
At times, mum's such a 'gaper,'
It can be tricky to use lavatory paper.
All dad's attempts at sexual intimacy have been utterly slapstick,
And that's before we factor in a prick that's so unthick.
In the mathematical world it's quite sensational
Dad's been awarded the Fields Medal in topology for 'having a penis which is literally one-dimensional'
Some might describe it as careless,
For dad to turn up at the kids trampoline centre, braless.
