Mentally, dad carries a simple brief;
"playgrounds, schools, remove briefs."
Currently trending on Twitter:
Some bogs-bloke has finally ended mum's shitter.
Mum: off down the gym for fresh blokes who are 'hench'
Dad: unfortunate genital stench
No one can ever really right the wrong,
Of dad's primary school Summer Fayre thong.
Presenting mum with a two finger Kit Kat,
Is recognised code for one up the bum, and one up the twat.
it isn't painless,
when you terrify my anus.
Where one would normally expect to find a penis and ballsack,
Dad can only offer a lack.
Mum's New Year Resolution is, as ever 'to try new things'
Specifically 'to be rear-ended by a dedicated crew of blokes operating one of the Channel Tunnel boring machines'
Even from a distance,
Dad looks like a sex-nuisance.
Dad certainly passes the eye test,
When considering him a dangerous local sex pest.
