Dad was never going to get far,
Going out, dressed only in his learner bra.
In the bedroom you mum has to giggle,
It tickles her inside when those gerbils wiggle.
At the orgy of TV detectives,
Your eyesight was not defective,
A dildo in the hands of Miss Marple,
was giving your dad an arse-full.
Mum’s not into Sting-style sex (tantric)
Although she can carry on for many hours, she prefers multi-blokes (thick)
Dad's trapped in a seemingly never ending physiological vortex,
In which he prefers kids, publicly exposes himself, and has a tiny, thin willy that never erex.
despite the tremendous amount of laughing and jeering,
the sound of my anus tearing is all that i'm hearing.
We're entering that time of year where we like to show goodwill to all men,
Your mum's got the spirit! 60min suck 'n' fuck for the price of ten!
Dad's heading into Ladbrokes,
He's having a wild punt on himself finally getting pokes.
Mum's bum-doc team are pleading with her she take a bogs work hiatus,
After inspecting what can only now broadly be described as, her anus.
Even if completely incorporeal, gaseous life exists on other planets
Dad will still be 'the organism which is most sexually inadequate'
