Mum's been nominated for an OBE,
For service and dedication in the public lavatory.
Bent over, mum's derrière,
Resembles a plate of charcuterie.
Dad's looking for an unpaid intern
to ignite his poo and watch it burn.
Dad still listening to Little Mix,
Cos he's got a little unthix.
The area from which mum used to crap,
Has been completely wiped off the map.
You can still find mum in the Yellow Pages,
"Bogs-slut, all filth, will go for ages."
rectal abomination,
corporal punishment,
bum log flagellation.
Mum's bum is hosting a charity Antiques Roadshow Fuck Tournament,
In which blokes compete by inserting unusual artworks and ornaments.
Mum has a firm prediction:
Dad will fail to gain an erection.
An untrained eye might see eight blokes committing an horrific sex crime,
But in fact, mum's having a wonderful time.
