As long as a bloke brings a nice big dogshit "treat",
Mum's bumhole is always a "safe seat".
It's Paddy's Day, and mum understands,
The very specific needs of enormous farm hands.
Dad attempts to lure kids for sex,
Riding around on a BMX.
Dad's waving around his weird bellend,
And asking parents of small boys for a "lend".
Mum's arsehole isn't 'password protected,'
In goes any nob that's basically erected.
Mum reckons she hasnโt reached the zenith
Of her ability to take copious amounts of penis
Set up a 1980s set of Scalextric,
To stimulate my clitorix.
Prick size mum taking on: dangerous,
Prick size of dad: Dangermouse.
When mum's cunt stinks of tuna,
Blokes really start to cum too soon(a).