Just when you thought his ‘sex life’ couldn’t get grimmer
Dad’s lifetime banned from B&Q for ‘trying out’ a strimmer
Mum's shitter now a field of poppies
Where bogs-bloke's deposit 'horror-sloppies'.
Bogs-blokes are "all in,"
When it comes to mum's shit-bin.
Bedsit dad's watching re-runs of Supermarket Sweep,
Whilst pushing increasingly larger vegetables up his poo-keep.
The posters for dad's new one man show promised a "fun family day out",
But unfortunately, right from curtain up, his knob was just all the way out.
Mum's left in pieces,
If there wasn't enough dogs feaces.
Mum quickly gets petulant and irritated,
If she isn't kept thoroughly dogshit-irrigated.
Mum's year in review?
Poo-screw after poo-screw after poo-screw.
Mum always has an optimistic take,
On how many willies she can take.
It's a cruel world, and there's no reprieve, from your mum's abysmal wizard's sleeve.
