Mum's eyes start misting,
When reminded of the 1983 summer-long Festival of Fisting.
Mum and the blokes have come to terms:
1lb of dogshit- 1 bumful of sperms.
Bogs-blokes have cracked open the Bollinger,
Mum's up for a double-bum n vagina!
There's absolute pandemonium,
Either side of mum's perineum.
In a tribute to the late Prince Consort, this week
Mum's offering 99 blokes the chance to 'Phil the Greek'
Mum's in the bogs, "taking a dive":
Big Bloke XI playing a "back five".
Mum's not happy!
She's just re-contracted a nasty dose of the clappy!
All dad's attempts at sexual intimacy have been utterly slapstick,
And that's before we factor in a prick that's so unthick.
Mum: Entirely doused in wees
Dad: arrested after writing on census under 'sex': "child please"
Dad's decided to start having wanks,
On the doorsteps of food banks.
