BUY IT NOW
necrophiliac sandwich paste:
nothing ever goes to waste.
Dad's experienced a humiliating cock-flop,
While exposing himself at the Build-A-Bear Workshop.
Dad feels a stirring in his little pea-shooter,
When researching the case of Junko Furuta.
Inevitably, the Annual Bogs Pumpkin Carving,
Wound up with mum getting a halvin'
Festive father decorating the tree, uh oh (though), there's your mum sealing cards with week old sex wee...
... as Granddad looks on, and wanks into his horror-potty.
Mum's a strict width-stickler,
When a bloke wants a go on her poo-funicular.
Mum's flogging a savoury compote,
Produced from whatever emerges from her bot-slot.
Go on Tinder and pre-emptively post all of my potential matches a large format Pantone graded catalogue of all my turds, and a large Sports Direct style mug with my face on
Dad claims he misread signs around the primary school indicating 'Local Elections,'
Now he's in the back of a police car, heading in the nonce-shop direction.
Dad claims to be "conscientiously objecting,"
To *all* penis erecting.
