Dad’s idea of ‘having a wonderful Christmas Time’
Involves using his crotchless Santa suit for the purposes of sex crime
Dad's one of the real big-wigs,
In the community of willy-not-bigs.
You never know, if mum does start to feel a bit festive,
She might get an anal staple put in, for a bit of Xmas "give."
Mum can no longer sit,
After a busy day entertaining staff and customers in the car park of Kwik Fit.
I tie my dog up and shit at it in the eye.
Your dad got confused during the vicar's tea,
he shat on the biscuits and dunked them in wee.
Mum's certainly been the recipient of dirty Russian roubles,
Mainly after receiving Russian biker-gang willy-doubles.
Sporty mum inspired by ‘Daley Thompson’s Decathlon’
Ten bogs-blokes daily in her ‘dickathlon’
Dad's got nothing of any significance,
In his pants.
What's in mum's summer plans?
It's farmhands!
