What's dad got?
A willy the size of a Jelly Tot.
Mum's written a best seller
About a bog-bloke's old fella.
It's only an approximation,
But many observers reckon mum's entertained numbers of blokes equivalent to several large European nations.
Your mum fucked Columbo (Peter Falk),
She injested a slightly surreal seventeen inches of pork.
Now on view:
Mum's new vid, The (87th) Art of the Poo-Screw.
Mum has an eye for bogs-blokes who are going places,
Who combine size, stamina and can produce loose faeces.
Bogs-celebrations reached their peak,
As mum's poo-pipe was knocked into the middle of next week.
Mum's mood has improved,
After having her poo-groove, re-grooved.
Mum's essentially mutton and not lamb;
And loves to accommodate javelin-of-spam.
Mum's bent over in the bogs sipping on piรฑa coladas,
Occasionally offering encouraging shouts of "go fuckin' 'arder."