Staple my balls to my face.
Like those of the cherubs of Bellini,
Dad's willy is weeny.
Mum's slurring her words and stammering,
As a result of nightly big-bloke-bum-hammering.
Dad's been to 'The School of Hard Knocks,'
And while he was there, he sucked off all the big-boy's cocks.
Dad's set up a really abysmal OnlyFans
Centred around his disappoint-a-glans.
What's replaced the old pub singalong?
Yep: Free goes on mum's Emmanuel Frimpong.
Dad's appreciation for child welfare appears cursory,
Perhaps because his willy size never got past "nursery."
Dad's dick pic looks like a bad crop,
But no, it really does just... stop.
The bogs-blokes mum has properly sexually indulged,
Are the ones who's trousers properly buldged.
During summer, dad likes to visit famous British landmarks and places,
And spoil them for everyone else by publically passing urine and feces.
Dad's queing at the council offices seeking planning permission,
for a thimble-sized horror-bin to house his feeble emission.
