Dad claims he misread signs around the primary school indicating 'Local Elections,'
Now he's in the back of a police car, heading in the nonce-shop direction.
In the 90's it all got rather surreal,
When your mum and dad were both fucking Eastenders' Ian Beale.
Dad's looking longingly at kid's 'inbetweens',
during formal work events on Microsoft teams.
Sometimes blokes say they can still hear Big Baz, brave bogs-bloke spelunker
Lost in the recesses of Mum's cavernous bum-bunker
Mum's certainly no stranger,
To an arsehole status 'code red: danger.'
Father's penis unbelievably small,
Almost as if there's nothing there at all.
Mum attributes her sexual popularity
To her cheerful willingness to accommodate any sexual peculiarity
Trading standards don't take long to spot that Dad's ice-cream van is 'not fine';
As confused kids emerge with Liquid shit dribbler cone with a poo-'99'.
Recommend me on LinkedIn for being ‘extremely good at pissing’
In summer months, mum works the bogs at the country park picnic area,
Dad skulks in the bushes, wishing his prick was thick and hairier.
