Ruined flotsam, then jetsam.
Now let's not get caught up in idle pleasantries,
Your mother is to be covered in bloke's 'piss-spunk-n-wees.'
Mum’s reminiscing about Fijian cricketer Ilikena Lasarusa Talebulamainavaleniveivakabulaimainakulalakebalau
And how he’d pleasure her in more ways than the law would strictly allow
In her own special tribute to the England team 'taking the knee'
Mum's kneeling down to 'take the willy'
Dad went to a gynaecologist to research his ancestry and past,
But was shocked when the investigation involved taking scrapings from up his arse.
Mum's starting a campaign on Kickstarter,
To pay for reconstructive surgery of the farter.
Your mum's trying to undercut inflation by offering several '3 at a time' combinations
In a tribute to the late Prince Consort, this week
Mum's offering 99 blokes the chance to 'Phil the Greek'
Mum's "vitals,"
Can no longer have definite titles.
Mum'll take a pummel where it's farty,
For a single 90s promo blue smartie.
On a morale boosting trip your mum flew out to Iraq,
Free fucks for our boys but now her cunt's slack.
