Ruined flotsam, then jetsam.
Mum's nether regions, No longer have clear distinctions. 
Dad’s looking for a VC funder For his app ‘Fiddlr’ (basically Grindr for men after partners aged 8 or under)
Mum rates 10/10 The experience of ‘being spunked on by many men’
Mum welcomes all thick blokes who are "anally diligent", Dad out on two counts - 1. sexually slapdash 2. tiny willy gent
Mum has a strict 5 second rule, For blokes entering the cubicle and depositing stool.
Mum's rutting in the loos, With low-IQs.
Fuck me in half.
Dad has yet to be labeled a ‘pedo guy’ by Elon Musk Despite spending all his time lurking outside the nursery with his fly open and filled with rusk
Consultants agree there is no way to improve, Mum's fuck-knackered poo-groove.
So caked in blood was the anal canal, The surgeons employed a garden trowel.
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