What's that weird, grey, shrivelled tube?
It's your penis of course.
Doesn't touch the sides either; no need for lube.
Imprison me in a web of emotional distress
due to my pubis.
For arousal, dad swears,
By the website of Mothercare(s).
sometimes it's important to have a moment of reflection,
like when dad tries to recall the only time he ever achieved erection.
Mum's been nominated for an OBE,
For services to the public lavatories.
Blokes have made a ruin
Of whence mum does her pooing
It's Halloween, a night of goblins and ghosts,
For mum, it's a routine evening of nobbins and spit-roasts.
In the 'occupation' section of the most recent Census,
Mum simply wrote: 'getting fucked in the anus.'
Mum defies the saying "you can't teach an old dog new tricks,"
In the endlessly innovative ways she finds to take prick after prick after prick.
Dad's prick situation is complicated:
Evidence suggests it's somehow evaporated.
