Blokes find it hard to fault,
Mum's poo-vault.
Mum’s arsehole, on detailed analysis
Is now 100% calluses
Every night, mum wins the bogs-lottery,
Jackpot? Hordes of huge blokes, on the bottery.
At his weekly 'Wipe Your Arse Class,' dad really does look rather glad,
That after the barbed wire and broken glass, up next is a Brillo pad.
Mum's interest is quickly piqued,
At the prospect of being thick-prickily "Greeked".
Outside the bogs, blokes are 'Christmas caroling,'
Inside the bogs, mum's receiving a festive wheelbarrowing.
After ninety blokes, mum needs some kind of spunk-doulah;
While dad's working on penis-puppetry to try to pull a pre-schooler.
Mum doesn't want lubricant,
Anywhere near her bum and cunt.
the sole item in dad's sexual curriculum:
continuously being showered in shit, piss and cum.
