Making mountains out of molehills...
dad's less wise than an owl
and less cunning than a fox;
but he knows what he likes:
the utter destruction of his shitbox.
Distressingly, mum's only on the first leg,
Of the annual 24 hour marathon competition 'Chomp the Dog-Egg.'
Dad often turns up at learner bra shops under the guise,
Of someone who has an appropriately expert understanding of bra size.
Dad’s looking for a VC funder
For his app ‘Fiddlr’ (basically Grindr for men after partners aged 8 or under)
Dad's "writing sex-cheques his prick can't cash",
While generating pornographic AI images of My Little Pony Rainbow Dash.
Father, in a lather;
He's experiencing a blokes-related trouser-palava.
I'm always inclined to break into a jog,
When I'm heading to where your mum's 'working the bog.'
Dad views his sex life through the prism,
Of a kind of child's playground eroticism.
Mum's been clear with the blokes since day 1:
It's "nil by cun",
All up the bum.
Dad: cry-wanking to "Leisure Suit Larry" on fourteen floppy disks
Mum: in the bogs with fourteen unfloppy dicks
