Mum's always been more of a 'taker' rather than a 'giver,'
Hence her arsehole resembling a bucket of chopped liver.
Dad’s a sort of modern day Peter Purves
Except that rather than making kids happy, he makes them nervous
The local bogs has its own fleet of taxis,
Driving bogs-blokes from their door to mum's poo-axis.
Dad thought he'd try his luck with online dating,
Oh-no though, he's listed his only interest as 'genital cheese-grating.'
Father status: blubby;
Again, it won't go 'chubby'.
For a packet of rich tea biscuits (Tesco own brand),
Mum'll entertain a whole parish of farm hands.
Mum's sole concerm,
Is willies that are big and firm.
Mum's part of the sexual 'old guard';
Her frayed poo-lips: 'perma-marred'.
Dad’s using electron microscopy
In a vain attempt to detect his tiny ‘Mr floppy’
Construct a sophisticated multi-level regression model of my prolapse
