Dad's genital usage: nil,
Mum's genital usage: roadkill.
Welcome ladies and gentlemen, and now it's time to present,
Your father, a goat, a dog, a bloke, and an anally-ripped fuck-peasant.
Mum feels like it's simply "bad optics,"
If she takes on any pricks that are not thicks.
Mum: face pressed up against the Armitage Shanks
Dad: furtive bushes playground wanks
Dad's right at the other end of the scale,
From "normally sexually functioning male".
The hemorrhoids protruding from mum's arsehole,
Are the size of profiteroles.
After ninety blokes, mum needs some kind of spunk-doulah;
While dad's working on penis-puppetry to try to pull a pre-schooler.
The bogs-blokes in the queue for mum, know exactly what beckons,
It's sloppy 3rds, 4ths, 5ths, 6ths, 10ths, 30ths, and so on (not just sloppy seconds).
Dad's "showing,"
At places kids are going.
Dad was never going to get far,
Going out, dressed only in his learner bra.
