‘Who is this mystery shitter? Bumprint analysis shows just a perfectly smooth torus’
Mum's on Tinder
Swiping to add more blokes to the long queue already behind her
Make my arsehole miles bigger,
Then pull the 'sperm trigger.'
Dad was wrong when thought he might be more of an attractive man,
The evening he went out after applying his own shit as a sort of fake tan.
Your father's been many-fucked by every kind of appliance,
now wishing he'd paid attention:
'A' Level Bum Science.
Crivens!
You've just been pile-driven(s).
Mum doen't have the time or need to ponder life or death,
For eternity, she'll be in the gents, matted with spunk and fucked on meths.
In France they piss on Main Street
Mum's not a "happy camper",
Until twenty or thirty blokes have spatchcocked her dung-hamper.
Mum's done an all-nighter in the khazi,
Getting bummed by loads of jubilant nazis.
