Upstream (like a salmon).
Email a series of iCal invites to all the senior staff at my place of work, detailing the time,location and duration of my bottom-wiping
Here's the meal, it's freshly plated, it's a baked potato (on a bed of shit, grated). Mum's menu: universally slated.
Jesus, your Dad's really got a nerve, Attempting to purchase 'Jade's Coffin Pics' with which to perve.
Bedsit dad's watching re-runs of Supermarket Sweep, Whilst pushing increasingly larger vegetables up his poo-keep.
From quite a distance outside the gents came the whistling of a recognisable tune, Mum cheerily finishing up her shift whilst warbling the theme song from 'Boon.'
Mum's a pioneer, Of getting screwed in the rear.
Mum has desperately low standards, As to who has access to her innards.
Mumโ€™s flaps are long and droopy Like the ears of popular cartoon dog, โ€˜Snoopyโ€™
Mum's seeking to ensure the rumours are quashed, That her crapper has been irreparably boshed.
In keeping with the norms of the day, (misunderstood, it seems), You reamed a man on Market Square while munching custard creams.
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