Mum in pornographic films with blokes of penis classification size: thick,
Dad watching pornographic films, his penis classification size: very un-thick.
Loo-fellas well contemplate how the saying "the squeaky wheel gets the grease",
Describes aptly mum's habitual behaviour re: bogs, blokes, her, and her shit-crease.
Mum remains disturbingly impassive,
Even when getting nailed by blokes that are absolutely massive.
Your mum being excavated by an industrial digger,
Only seems to be your dad's willy not getting bigger.
Mum’s arsehole, on detailed analysis
Is now 100% calluses
Mum's brought so many blokes off with her boobs,
They have basically become cubes.
There's simply not enough days in the week,
For mum to get properly hammered in the shit-beak.
In tribute to the classic 'Thirty-Nine Steps', a film of Alfred Hitchcock's,
Your mum's film 'The Thirty-Nine Blokes' has her playing a filthy wagon to which your dad tries to hitch cocks
While your mum's capable of 'the sexual can-can,'
Your dad is (sexually) something of an 'also ran-ran.'
New this Chrimbo:
Dad now self-identifying as "thinbo".
