Re-chart my hairy territory
Like an inexorable force of gravity
Blokes are drawn to Mum’s favourite public lavatory.
Mum's stormed out the bogs in a fit of pique,
Because some chancer turned up with an undersized "prique."
Your mum's arse: unlubed like a Weetabix;
Father's prick? (Almost) arousal at the bum-horror flicks.
Dad's got a lot on his plate,
Mainly shit and piss - and it doesn't taste great.
Tits like plantains; drooping, not ripe.
And the main route for sex, of course, is always the shitpipe.
Mum's life is grey and monotonous, interrupted by brief, fleeting moments of levity,
For instance, when a well-hung bloke fucks her up the anal cavity.
Mum knows bogs-blokes will put on the anal after burners,
When she sticks on the encouraging "Simply The Best" by Tina Turner.
Jan 2nd and already blokes have been banging away with such intensity
That Mum’s arsehole has abandoned any pretence at structural integrity
Mum fucks for pence,
While dad's being acquitted of indecent exposure for lack of visible evidence.
