Dad's the world-leading expert in,
Learner bra fastenin'
Bedsit dad listening to Des'ree,
Simply wishing he had a bigger will'ee.
Mum's a big fan of former S.L. Benfica centre back Argelico Fucks...
Dad's set up a really abysmal OnlyFans
Centred around his disappoint-a-glans.
Your dad's weird internet start-up,
specialised in stitching bloke's arsehole's up.
Credit crunch - your mum's fuck-prices down to 50p,
Not enough for her to afford a fucking shitty KFC.
Dad's attempting to register his stools,
For various London drama schools.
Poo into a box and then trick scientists into thinking that there’s some kind of complex quantum state consisting of poo and not poo in the box
Mum's "vitals,"
Can no longer have definite titles.
Dad's been hanging around branches of Ann Summers,
Browsing in the section of the shop aimed at 'bummers.'
