Messy scenes, as blokes no longer adhering to Covid protocol,
When attempting to access Mum's Xmas X-Hole.
Dad's not had any rubs for years (poor him),
Last fuck he had was 'duck' from TV's 'Rosie and Jim.'
Your dad and Mathew Kelly?
'You Bet!'.
Remaining anus: 'welly'
(Weird-fuck: Boba Fett).
Mum's cracking open the Asti Spumante
To celebrate the return of the legendary 'Signor Willy-Elephanty'
At the Sperm Bank,
Dad's asking for "kiddie mags" for help with his wank.
Your dad's been on the internet and has placed several lifelong subscriptions,
for material that involves pissing on electric fences (blokes with anal afflictions).
A tiny little shiver, a shameful little dither, a penis all a-quiver, a pathetic milky river.
Jesus, your Dad's really got a nerve,
Attempting to purchase 'Jade's Coffin Pics' with which to perve.
Dad's experiencing massive FOMO
Seeing Wetherspoon massive homo.
Dad's proposed "learner lingerie" range for Victoria's Secret,
Hasn't moved past the "early discussion stage" yet.
