When your father met 'The Scat Man', he didn't really get it,
He got straight in there (elbow-deep), trying to expose his horror-shit.
Mum's servicing bogsblokes unselectively,
While dad's giving serious consideration to an irreversible penisectomy.
Ever looser, more fetid, and hairier:
Such is the destiny of mum's poo-area.
Dad always takes gold in his own imaginary "special Olympics",
For men with especially limp prics.
Dad's in the 'spoons bogs with blokes taking speed;
Arse lips splayed plus prick-status: millipede.
Like an inexorable force of gravity
Blokes are drawn to Mumโs favourite public lavatory.
Mum emerges from end of heavy bogs session looking like she's been in the Noel's House Party 'Gunge Tank'
Dad: transaction declined at the Wank Bank
Usually 10p gets a 'Wham Bar' or 'Chomp',
but in this case complete access to your mum's 'horror-swamp'.
Veteran bogs-blokes were left gobsmacked,
At how, after *that* kind of shift, mum's arsehole was left *fairly* intact.
Dad's looking for a situation like Gisele Pelicot,
Except with a child aged five or below.