It doesn't take the insight of Emil Kraepelin
To work out that Dad's penis is crap (and thin).
Festive Dad’s been sacked from his Christmas Grotto job (as ‘elf on a shelf’)
Because he kept on furtively pleasuring himself
Mainly, your father's seen as preferring blokes, y'know, a bit of a 'fairy,'
Except for that time he fucked warbling pop-twat, Mariah Carey.
Mum’s entertaining Real Madrid forward Kylian Mbappé
In the area where it’s crappé
Dad's offending public decency,
Not even trying to hide obvious signs of wank-recency.
Dad's personal willy hygienist,
Is on record saying "this man has the filthiest penis."
Mum’s prone to shout and splutter
If there’s not a lengthy line of blokes sporting a ‘diamond cutter’
Dad's got the tweezers out to watch mum's film 'Cheap Sex-Tramp,'
Oh-no though, he's pulled up with a severe bout of wanker's cramp.
Mum's been accused of practicing voodoo,
Due too,
How blokes are so bewitched by the place from which she poo-poo.
Bedsit dad's watching re-runs of Supermarket Sweep,
Whilst pushing increasingly larger vegetables up his poo-keep.
