Dad's one of life's dreamers,
Particularly in regards to having a bigger penis.
Plus 'Eric Crapton' of the poo-themed blues-rock covers band 'Bum Cream'
Mum's working the bogs at parties and bar mitzvahs,
Absolutely fucking smashed on white wine spritzers.
Dad's realised they don't hand out any medals,
For curbing his interest in kiddie fiddles.
Dad's left pissing out of his arse and mum's left shitting out of her twat because some bloke pissed up dad's arse and some bloke shat up mum's cunt.
Dad listens to a lot of Enya,
Which is common amongst child sex offenders.
Several coach loads of bloke tourists from Mozambique,
Have fundamentally changed mum's poo-beak.
Dad's having a bedsit teddy bear's picnic,
And imagining his cuddly toys don't mind he's got a prick that's not thick.
Bum-porn fans become all misty-eyed,
At talk of mum's 1972 breakthrough "I've Been Brown Clown-Pied."
The clock is ticking,
On dad's willy ever thickening.
