Dad's standing in the election as a single issue candidate,
For nonce's rights to publicly masturbate.
Dad's life,
Is divided between hanging around playgrounds and public toilets (listening to other blokes nob his wife).
Mum's just hoping for a dogshit-filled stocking,
And 80 or 90 Santas to deliver a good hard cocking.
Mum's a self-declared superfan,
Of super-enormohung man.
You won't ever see mum "bottling,"
A 3 litre Coke "bottling."
there's no need to woo me, thickie;
just hurry up and do me, quickly!
Mum's sexual 'Achilles Heel,'
Is that her twat has lost all discernable 'feel.'
Mum taking anally 8 blokes (don't fitty-fitty).
It's just cocks aiming for somewhere (it's shitty-shitty).
Mum's slipped a disc,
During a game of 'Clitorisk.'
Mum's determined: the last day she 'services' the bogs
will be the day she pops her clogs
