Dad believes that his poo,
Has some kind of street value.
No bogs-bloke has ever complained
Of leaving Mum’s sessions with balls undrained.
Dad's sexual performance: "Tears of a clown"
Mum's sexual preference: "Up the brown"
Blokes are unceremoniously thrown out of the bogs with no apology or pardon,
If they are deemed "thin," "small," or "prone not to harden."
Mum's bum offerings now fiscally condensed;
Hours of triple anal for under fifty pence.
Even seasoned bogs-blokes can find it distressing,
Seeing mum hurriedly arrive at the gents, already undressing.
Bogs-blokes know they need to up their level,
For any chance of winning mum's "gold medal."
Your father failed to turn his bum lamp down low,
and, oh fucking jesus!
His whole arsehole's 'a-glow'.
Dad gets the heebie-jeebies,
If he hasn't had his daily quota of CBeebies.
After ninety blokes, mum needs some kind of spunk-doulah;
While dad's working on penis-puppetry to try to pull a pre-schooler.
