virginal as sin, the mother immaculate,
now she's all crispy (bovine ejaculate)
Just when the other parents thought things couldn't get any worse,
There's dad at the school gates, dressed as a "sexy nurse".
Playground Dad trying to invite kids over to play Pikmin
In order to show them his prik (thin)
Mum believes she’s found a loophole
Via which she can achieve a ‘willy quadruple’.
"Concentrate all firepower,
On mum's little poo-flower!"
It’s time for the Annual Bogs Penis Contest and Dad’s scores are in:
Girth: 0 (atomically thin)
Erection Strength: 0 (blancmange out of a tin)
Length: -2 (actually going in)
Appearance: 0 (mostly crusty foreskin).
Mum learnt the art of proper spit-roasties,
In early morning shifts with the help of the posties.
These days, mum's twat-tackle,
Appears hopelessly ramshackle.
One doesn't need to be Nostradamus,
To foresee a bleak future for mum's anus.
Mum's arsehole looking like the inside of a cement mixer
After full day in the bogs with blokes (thicser)
