When the council came round, they gave your dad some 'jip',
he'd smothered the estate in wrong horror-shit
(and his weird machine had failed to syphon it).
Most people in their right minds would think it barmy,
But dad can actually knock one out over Dad's Army.
"Whenever you find you are on the side of the majority, it is time to pause and reflect."
Your dad's never had that problem, with his small prick that fails to erect.
Mum's navigating the currently rough economic seas by carefully managing her hedge funds,
Dad's hoping to raise a few quid by sucking off Noel Edmonds.
Mum's picked up the rather unsavoury habit of goading,
Blokes, as they're in the middle of unloading.
Dad: defeated softcock wanking in the larder
Mum: enjoying several large ‘penis-colada’s’
Dad's rap name is "Smallie Smalls"
(his rap technique, much like his sexual technique, simply appalls)
Mum's appearing on Dragon's Den,
Seeking investment for schemes in which she screws more men.
Dad's scouted the D.I.Y shops and ended up in B&Q,
He's looking for a machine that will turn his arsehole blue.
Your father recently went to see the musical performance of the diaries of Anne Frank,
But he was soon ejected from the theatre after getting caught having a wank.
