Bogs-blokes are "all in,"
When it comes to mum's shit-bin.
Mum has never been described as "eye-candy,"
But, fuck me, when working the bogs she's handy.
Mum's been requested to take part in the very latest MORI poll,
Focusing on the views of those with: arsehole like salad bowl.
Dad’s stroking his ‘little fella’
To ‘The Story of My Life’ by Helen Keller
At his weekly 'Wipe Your Arse Class,' dad really does look rather glad,
That after the barbed wire and broken glass, up next is a Brillo pad.
It's bogs Shrove Tuesday and mum's getting pancaked;
A baker's dozen of men: Jif-lemon(ing) her bum (gaped) .
At the Sperm Bank,
Dad's asking for "kiddie mags" for help with his wank.
Welcome ladies and gentlemen, and now it's time to present,
Your father, a goat, a dog, a bloke, and an anally-ripped fuck-peasant.
Mum's just hoping for a dogshit-filled stocking,
And 80 or 90 Santas to deliver a good hard cocking.
Mum's dildo on the speaker cone...
Turn up the bass to drive it home.
