Dad's caught the attention of the morning primary school drop-off throng,
Dressed very simply in a micro-thong.
At the orgy of TV detectives,
Your eyesight was not defective,
You went and got your mini Kodak,
When your dad went down on Theo Kojak.
Presenting mum with a two finger Kit Kat,
Is recognised code for one up the bum, and one up the twat.
Your mum: blokes.
Your dad: blokes.
Beach and paddelling pool fun for kids in Market Square!
Although sadly and inevitably, your Dad's also hanging around there.
Mum's up in the Rocky mountains
Causing cock-y fountains
Amongst blokes, your mum's appallingly buggered-to-bits-bum has become highly prized,
No such joy for dad; his pathetic non-cock has been universally described as 'poorly sized.'
Mum's "vitals,"
Can no longer have definite titles.
You've been fucked by original 'Teflon Don', John Gotti;
His penis ineffectual like a dunked 'biscotti'.
Mainly, your father's seen as preferring blokes, y'know, a bit of a 'fairy,'
Except for that time he fucked warbling pop-twat, Mariah Carey.