Dad's consistently bottom ranking,
In "having a cock worth wanking".
Mum’s prone to shout and splutter
If there’s not a lengthy line of blokes sporting a ‘diamond cutter’
Dad's sexual knowledge clearly woefully poor:
He has no understanding at all of what genitals are for.
Mum's offering lifetime guarantees,
To all thick blokes, of bogs freebies.
Mum could be said to be a little 'punch drunk'
If by 'punch' you mean 'gallons of different blokes' spunk'
Mum'll take a stuffin,
For an Egg Mcmuffin.
Dad can't find partners who are sexually eager,
Mainly because his genitals are extremely meagre.
dad lay open-mouthed, motionless,
as down on his face gushed an ocean of piss.
Loads of tits-out naked-birds but your prick isn't stirring,
That's because it's basically blokes you're preferring.
Mum’s inability, when propositioned by blokes, to say ‘no’
Has left her bum’ole looking like post-siege Sarajevo
