On the genital diagram of Venn,
Dad's are located outside the circle labeled "men".
You hadn't even got undressed,
And you were on the phone to the bloody press.
Mum's achieved 100% market capture,
In sector "knee-tremblers in the crapper".
Father's fuck pyjamas - Oh No! "Heavy Soil",
He's in the bogs with pop idol horror-show Susan Boyle.
Last night, mum bogs rage-quit,
Shouting "not enough liquid shit!!"
Mum really needs to bite the bullet,
And allow a bum-doc to see her poo-punnet.
please send the chef my complements,
he saved me the bother of doing your mum in the gents.
Dad's getting probed by huge blokes (where it's shitty),
In the background upbeat 90s staple (McClean, Bitty).
I tie my dog up and shit at it in the eye.
Imprison me in a web of emotional distress
due to my pubis.
