For a packet of rich tea biscuits (Tesco own brand),
Mum'll entertain a whole parish of farm hands.
It's International World Thin Willy Awareness Day,
And spokesman dad's doing the morning interview rounds, with plenty of personal things to say.
Mum's liberally 'iced' like a French Fancy (Mr. Kipling)
After her daily bog-bloke willy-tripling
Oh fuck!
My head's stuck
(welded tight: faecal muck)
Dad sits in McDonald's eating his Happy Meal,
Hoping this might mean kids give his chap a feel.
Mum's end of shift claim of victory over bogs-blokes is somewhat pyrrhic,
Given that the last bloke she entertained was physically *too* thick.
Mum fondly remembers Russian biker Vlad "The Impaler,"
And how she had to intermittently reach for her inhaler.
Mum’s gens: “knob Bermuda Triangle“
Dad’s gens: “barely dangle”
Although access is hardly akin to Fort fucking Knox,
Mum's cunt is still like two pieces of dried apricot.
Bogs-legend has it Mum has an evil twin
Who prefers men who are ‘very thin’
