Your dad's appalling card-trick
required your mum's bum, and a cattle-tick.
At this point in the New Year celebrations, mum views it as a personal injustice,
If she isn't coated and soaked head to fucking foot in dog-shit and piss.
Dad's sex life,
Does not involve mum (his wife).
Dads seeking some kind of cosmic justice,
For having a really fucking small and shit penis.
Mum's a strict width-stickler,
When a bloke wants a go on her poo-funicular.
Mum charges Polish blokes one zloty
For unlimited access to her botty-slotty.
Mum's quite high profile in contemporary porno magazines,
Dad's a 1970's gay porn has-been.
Dad's the main story on Bad Penis Report:
An in-depth feature on how it's weird and short.
Dad’s having one of his hours-long ‘goons’
In the bushes watching kids watching Saturday morning cartoons.
Dad's quite well known really, his name comes up on Wikipedia,
He's heavily cited on the pages to do with pedophilia.
