Mum's an all-time bogs-slut hero,
Of the disabled toilets at Caffè Nero.
Dad finds the local primary "sexually electric";
Good thing his willy's chronically "non-erectic".
It's only the second week of February,
And mum's 2025 body count is already "very, very many".
Welcome ladies and gentlemen, and now it's time to present,
Your father, a goat, a dog, a bloke, and an anally-ripped fuck-peasant.
Unfasten my bra… with hilarious consequences
Mum's cunt stinks like The Land That Time Forgot,
Medical terminology: crotch rot.
One of dad's favourite sexual ventures,
Is hanging around the toilets at Chessington World of Adventures.
Mum doesn't need to think about her next move,
It's always "get the nearest bloke to annihilate her poo-groove".
You hadn't even got undressed,
And you were on the phone to the bloody press.
Bogs-blokes joy! For tis the season,
For festive fun in mum's nether regions!
