After reaching the 1989 "Anal Superstars Free-For-All Mega Bugger Championship" winners podium,
Mum was advised to take approximately half a kilo of imodium.
Now let's not get caught up in idle pleasantries,
Your mother is to be covered in bloke's 'piss-spunk-n-wees.'
Every night, there's a great deal of activity,
In and around mum's anal cavity.
Mum whistling Tina Turner's 'What's Love Got To Do With It?'
Whilst being unceremoniously caked in various blokes shit.
Don't spoil it;
it's just your mum being done in the toilet.
Dad's trouser meat,
Is embarrassingly petite.
Bogs-blokes very much believe in Him,
Because He put on earth mum's arsehole and quim.
Mum doesn't need expensive bum-doctors to clean out her tubes,
She gets fucked by big blokes and refuses to use lubes.
To coincide with the release of the new Tom Cruise: Mission Impossible,
Comes a re-release of the infamous Mum's Poos: Mission Unsloppable.
No need for flowers, cards or chocolates,
All mum wants on Mother's Day is blokes in all her slots.
