Mum's been awarded an MBE,
For her longstanding service in public lavatories.
In the gents, there's no hard and fast rules,
Mum simply wants loose and fast stools.
Dad's Burger Van version of a Happy Meal,
Includes kids being invited to "have a feel."
Dad quite rightly denied possibility of parole
After arrest for his invention: the ‘dolls house gloryhole’.
There's been heavy polling,
In favour of giving mum a proper "arseholing."
Mum's shitter now a field of poppies
Where bogs-bloke's deposit 'horror-sloppies'.
I think I saw your penis - trick of light/prism.
And on the end, a small amount of jism.
It’s time for the Annual Bogs Penis Contest and Dad’s scores are in:
Girth: 0 (atomically thin)
Erection Strength: 0 (blancmange out of a tin)
Length: -2 (actually going in)
Appearance: 0 (mostly crusty foreskin).
Mum looks almost like she's "covered in limescale",
But in fact, it's "the ejaculate of many male".
From the side of common decency dad defected,
As he realised it was only within playgrounds that his willy erected.
