Mum's entering the Christmas spirit,
With 20 kilos of fresh dog-shit.
Standing room only on Mum's double-decker bumper bigblokes bus
Destination sign reads: BOGS OR BUST
Mum's never been a 'sexual starver,'
She's always had plenty of fucks 'left in the larder.'
Your mum's crevice is invertly proportional to the mass of Ben Nevis.
Since dad was a wee nipper,
He's dreamt of working male prisons as a stripper.
Mum'll take a pummel where it's farty,
For a single 90s promo blue smartie.
Dad's caught the attention of the morning primary school drop-off throng,
Dressed very simply in a micro-thong.
Mum's rather worse for wear 'tobacco pouch'
Looks uncannily like a badly-stuffed taco after 2 weeks down the back of a couch
Mum's long and distinguished adult film adventure,
Began with the now infamous "Valentines Day Arse-Massacre."
When mum's twat has properly gone off,
It becomes a bogs-bloke Mexican standoff.
