It's fair to say that recently, your dad's been acting rather queerly,
Apparently he's been caught in the bogs with CDT teacher, Mr Brearley.
Dad's the proud new owner,
Of a plastic baby doll's boner!
It's always incredibly hit or miss,
Whether or not you locate the clitoris.
Over the years your mum's taken in quite a few male lodgers,
She's also taken a few cocks up the arse (by blokes known as 'Jammy-Rag Dodgers').
On the street for a quid it's whopper and chips,
in the slum with your mum, it's cun' and slit-dips.
Dad's one of the real big-wigs,
In the community of willy-not-bigs.
Big-Dicked Vince goes down in bogs folklore,
As the last time mum wasn't heard asking for more.
Even techniques of complex-valued geometry,
Are inadequate to explain mum's chronically-knobbed neths-taxonomy.
Dad's "showing,"
At places kids are going.
Like moths to a flame,
Blokes are drawn to the bogs when mum's on the game.
