Mum and the blokes have come to terms:
1lb of dogshit- 1 bumful of sperms.
There is a sombre mood,
As blokes gather reflectively around the area from which mum once pooed.
There's a whole host of things wrong, with your father's little putty-prong
(#1: not long).
The primary school governors at first thought it rather spurious,
That dad had completed the 'sexual persuasion' question in his application for Toilet Janitor as "child-curious."
Mumβs recruited many, many men
In order to do to her arsehole what the RAF in 1945 did to Dresden
Dad believes it's trendy,
To dress, behave and talk, all "sex-offendy."
Mum's never recognised any downside,
To her being continuously and ruinously "brown-eyed."
Dad listens to a lot of Enya,
Which is common amongst child sex offenders.
Big Bloke Bozzaβs causing uproarious bog-scandal
By claiming that his new surgically enhanced willy is βtoo big for Mum to handleβ
To get to your mum in the gents it took the Bum-Doctors hours,
I'll visit the hospital tomorrow, y'know, to take her some flowers.