Over the years, mum's arsehole has served with distinction,
But after last night's International Farmhand Bogs Convention, it's been declared 'close to extinction.'
Even seasoned bogs-blokes can find it distressing,
Seeing mum hurriedly arrive at the gents, already undressing.
Mum is extremely genial,
To those seeking to access her genitals.
I was forced to accept my fate,
as I was enveloped by your mother's horror-grate.
Dad's put the contract out to tender;
"Wanted: deaf, blind, massive-bummed bender
(preferably, a convicted sex offender)".
You can still find mum in the Yellow Pages,
"Bogs-slut, all filth, will go for ages."
Mum's navigating the currently rough economic seas by carefully managing her hedge funds,
Dad's hoping to raise a few quid by sucking off Noel Edmonds.
Dad's hard-on,
Resembles a very small and stringy bacon lardon.
Dad wants to be a cool nonce,
Like TVs "The Fonz."
Dadโs watery grout
Just dribbles out