Mum's got some nasty looking bum blisters,
From entertaining too many Big Misters.
Animal, vaginable or mineral;
Dad's penis twitch: minimal.
Playground nonce dad, peeling his banana,
Trying to ascend to the state of "paedo nirvana".
Mum's latter years pièce de résistance,
Is that her shitter has absolutely no resistance.
Out of touch Dad claiming to have reached the end of Donkey Kong
In the mistaken belief kids will be impressed and be willing to touch his Wonkey Dong
Outside the bogs, dad sees the snaking lines of blokes queueing to take mum from behind,
And he can't help but get the sense that, in his marriage, he's been marginally sidelined.
mum: rated 'Hardcore'
dad: Barrymore
It's the International Thin Willy Championships, and once again dad's determined,
Not to be out-thinned.
At the orgy of TV detectives,
your eyesight was not defective,
your dads bottom did not baulk,
at the size of Peter Faulk.
Dad’s ‘genital cupboard’ is entirely bare
Except for cobwebs, crumbly smegma and a forlorn, single pubic hair
