Blokes find it hard to fault,
Mum's poo-vault.
Father's penis unbelievably small,
Almost as if there's nothing there at all.
Tiny, dry, crumbly and entirely lacking in 'meat'
Dad's 'sausage roll' isn't anyone's idea of a treat
put any future possibility of sexual pleasure out of reach,
by completely dissolving my genitals in bleach.
Mum's trying to bum-entice former Germany / Chelsea / Stoke defender Robert Huth;
Dad? Crotch area completely smooth.
For Christmas, mum's getting the new album by Michael Bublé,
And not only that, she'll be getting a festive big-blokes willy-doubly!
Dad's penis swamped and indistinct behind that pink child's plaster;
Foreign dignitaries with expressions that couldn't be more aghast(er).
Mum's getting an absolute filling,
From Bournemouth Premier League player, Philip Billing.
After her daily stint in the bogs is done
Mum's arsehole is a churned mass of brown and blood reminiscent of day four of the Battle of Verdun
