Mum can always be trusted
To end the day in the gents, sperm-encrusted
Dad's been rushed to A&E,
After ramming too much stuff up where he poo&wee.
Dad’s lack of identifiable genitalia is the only thing preventing him from carrying out atrocities
On kids’ botties
Dad's hard-on,
Resembles a very small and stringy bacon lardon.
Mum has to request extra luggage,
When flying with her butt pluggage.
The phrase 'like a ship coming into port' might sound metaphorical or euphemistic,
But in 1914 (prior to it sinking) your great-grandmother was actually fucked by the Titanic.
Mum's twat able to take just about any size member,
Her arsehole?
Well, that's a desensitisation chamber.
Your body is certainly no fucking temple,
You work on the streets, you're up for rental.
Dad's getting probed by huge blokes (where it's shitty),
In the background upbeat 90s staple (McClean, Bitty).
Mum's been DP'd,
By Dave Lee Travis and Mike Read.
