Be the prison sex-raffle prize.
Mum's in the horror-bogs ceaselessly knob-gobblin',
dad's wrestling with particle physics: the 'measurement problem'.
The stand out smell from mum's bogs,
Is probably the shit from dogs.
Mum's cunt: Not alkaline, but acid,
Dad's prick: Incredibly shit, and flacid.
Dad's chances of sexual intercourse are paltry,
Hence, his bedsit evenings listening to Del Amitri.
Unlearn how to wear a bra
After visiting the Willy Clinic Open Day on 'Size and How to Improve,'
Dad was told his situation was particularly complex given his genitals are "effectively smooth."
Blokes looking to inflict a landslide "anal defeat",
And completely obliterate mum's seat.
On the 5th anniversary of Brexit
Mumโs celebrating by being covered in dogshit.
Mum's let the bigblokes go too far,
And now her arsehole resembles something that's been run over by a car.
Forlorn Dad waiting outside the bogs while Mum hands out the prizes
To the 100 blokes with the biggest willy sizes