It was impossible to forget:
The appalling texture of your mum's 'shit and piss' cutlet.
In the sprawling world of pornographic movies,
Mum dominates the sub-genre known as "The Poovies."
Dad’s having a fit of pique
After being described accurately as ‘small of prick’
Down at the police station, dad was forced to confess,
His new range of mince pies did indeed contain dogs-mess.
Over the years your mum's taken in quite a few male lodgers,
She's also taken a few cocks up the arse (by blokes known as 'Jammy-Rag Dodgers').
Mum feels it's become de rigueur,
To only work with bogs-blokes of the category 'bigger.'
Oh, quelle surprise!
Mum's in the bogs, on her knees.
Mum's one of life's Christmas Grinches,
If she doesn't get properly stuffed with inches.
The overriding consensus,
Is that dad has an extremely small penis.
