Okey-dokey!
Mum's up for blokey-pokey!
Your dad shit into your bed and dinner,
It's a shame that his penis gets thinner and thinner.
Dad remains a total rookie,
In terms of any experience of adult-on-adult nookie.
Mum often reminisces about working the docks of the Adriatic,
Many of the cocks were immeasurably thic.
Bog-bloke drones digging huge pit to deal with the run off,
(torrents of murky fluid from mum getting bum stoved off).
Dad's latest letter to his MP demands
Immediate access to all under-5s' OnlyFans.
Mum's just hoping for a dogshit-filled stocking,
And 80 or 90 Santas to deliver a good hard cocking.
Dad's sexual problems appear insurmountable,
Mum, on the other hand, remains constantly 'mountable.'
Dadβs in the playground, trying to tempt kids with fidget spinner
Luckily for them his penis status βcanβt be thinnerβ
Oh fuck!
My head's stuck
(welded tight: faecal muck)