Staple my balls to my face.
The end of year lists are in
Dad’s odds-on favourite to win
The category: “thin”.
Your father, although almost immediately replete,
continued to binge on his seventh helping of 'German Sausage Meat".
Mum has clearly failed to 'Take Back Control,'
Of the sovereign integrity of her arsehole.
Mum entered the Mile High Club,
On international tour with the local rugby club.
All kinds of blokes can find common ground,
In knob-knackering mum's poo-surround.
mum's nightly pounding in the gents': savage.
dad's sexual performance: well below average.
Dad's having a "me day",
Which appears to mostly entail public genital display.
Bogs-blokes are voting with their cox,
In mum's knackered old ballot box.
In the 90s, mum regularly had Pete Sampras,
Firing 'aces' up her ass (preferred surface: grass).
Declare via a papal encyclical that my prolapse becomes literally the body of Christ during the ritual of daily mass
