Dad's got one of the most notorious "thins",
And he keeps typing "boys' gymnastics" into search engines.
Dad's playing the local nonce-cops for fools;
What's been found on door handles of the primary school,
And floating in the leisure centre kid's pool?
Yep. It's traces of his stool.
You never know, if mum does start to feel a bit festive,
She might get an anal staple put in, for a bit of Xmas "give."
Pummel my shit-keg, cave it in, make it worse,
then force an acoustic rendition of something shit by Fred Durst.
Piss all over absolutely fucking everything
Blokes: Happy New Year,
Mum: Happy Old Rear.
When even the big gents-blokes seem a bit small,
Mum opts to get fucked by the council wrecking ball.
The most striking characteristic of dad's genital,
Is that it is very smal.
Dad's attendance at the school non-uniform day,
Was met with dismay,
Due to his extreme take on the Biker from YMCA.
Ho ho ho, in Santa’s grotto
Mum’s festively giving blokes presents (botto)
