Your dad's posed in porno-mags aimed for bent geezers,
Shame he couldn't wank over them (he couldn't find the tweezers).
Dad has a constantly strong presence on social media,
In his role as an advocate for all things pedophilia.
Mum's ready for new year's, nude, al fresco;
She's having, as celebrated J-pop idol group Perfume sang, a "Chocolate Disco".
The Nonce Police know to take precautionary steps,
When dad's out in public dressed like "H" from Steps.
Mum's getting nailed by deceased 80s male singles tennis sensation, Robert Abdesselam,
And judging by the horrendous genital friction buildup, she's going to need twat balm.
Dad's new boyfriend, scary-poof Ross Kemp,
It's sweet they both have willy size 'as if in low temp.'
Dad's bought a job lot of used toilets;
But the police have come round to spoil it(s).
Mum's sent out beautiful hand-written invites,
For a special bogs-evening in which she promises to waiver her basic human rights.
Dad's neither a "grower" nor a "shower",
In fact, it looks like it's been through a lawnmower.
Your dad beams as he's reamed by the oil rigors,
In their collective mind he's faked the cock-size figures.
