For your mum out on the streets, business is never quiet,
She's got a delightful bucket-cunt and blokes wanna buy it.
Dad’s out cruising in his old jalopy
Offering kids a trip to meet ‘Mr Floppy’
Last night mum out on the town,
What happened?
Lots of blokes potted the brown,
Outcome?
She's finding it extremely difficult to sit down.
Your father's caught up in a scene chiefly obsessed with weird penis idolatry,
He stares for hours at the cripple-nub horror-shlong of 'The Who' front-man, Roger Daltry.
Use urinal cakes as hand soap
Mum’s invited 80s tennis stars Bjorn Borg and Boris Becker
To play ‘mixed doubles’ (aka bogs ‘double decker’)
Come the apocalypse, bogs-blokes will be drawn to the public loo,
Where mum's Poo-Ark will be ready for boarding and they go in two by two.
Mum's cracking open the Asti Spumante
To celebrate the return of the legendary 'Signor Willy-Elephanty'
Dad's still listening to Mumford and Sons,
Because he's got one of the world's littlest ones.
One of dad's favourite sexual ventures,
Is hanging around the toilets at Chessington World of Adventures.
