Mum's never been a 'sexual starver,'
She's always had plenty of fucks 'left in the larder.'
Dad's offending public decency,
Not even trying to hide obvious signs of wank-recency.
Blokes have made a ruin
Of whence mum does her pooing
Offer the police increasingly desperate amounts of money for P Diddyโs 1000 bottles of drug-laced baby oil
Bogs-historiographers using the internet archive's wayback machine,
To find the first uploaded vids of mum in the latrine.
You've done harm to your mum's trout farm.
Mum: a lengthy line of sailors
Dad: a lengthy list of sexual failures
(Mum to 'peloton' of blokes behind her : "FASTER")
Squadies' favourite - your mum's cum-valley
(more popular than Worzel Gummidge star, Aunt Sally)
Mum's navigating the currently rough economic seas by carefully managing her hedge funds,
Dad's hoping to raise a few quid by sucking off Noel Edmonds.