Mum’s not really one for ‘small talk’
But she is one for ‘large pork’.
Dad's latest letter to his MP demands
Immediate access to all under-5s' OnlyFans.
Dad's wild gesticulations at the morning school traffic,
Can be universally translated as pornographic.
Mum’s prone to shout and splutter
If there’s not a lengthy line of blokes sporting a ‘diamond cutter’
Dad's in the prison showers, not knowing what's happening,
Mum's in the bogs, 'catalogue Grattaning.'
In a dark corner of the men's, it's hard to know where your shit starts or my jizz ends.
Mum’s aspect becomes troubled
If she’s not regularly willy-doubled
Blokes like bees devouring,
Mum's stinking brown flowering.
Mum's seeking to ensure the rumours are quashed,
That her crapper has been irreparably boshed.
It seems unfair,
that there's really nothing there.
