For recipes, your dad consults the ghost of Fanny Craddock,
Via weegie, Aunt rejuvination
(twat-haddock).
At this time of year in the bogs, when the temperature drops,
Mum experiences the phenomenon of 'frosted-slops.'
Dad remains a total rookie,
In terms of any experience of adult-on-adult nookie.
Newly recruited bog-blokes are encouraged not to tarry
As it prevents other blokes from give it to mum 'up the Gary'.
Dad shows no sign of abating,
His desire to hang around schools, masturbating.
Mum's in the bogs, smashed on Malbec,
Dad's skulking outside with no erec.
Mum feels there is no solid basis,
For the involvement of any solid faeces.
Bogs-blokes will cram,
For a chance to prod mum's colon spam.
Well, that's a date for dad's diary;
A court summons for the outcome of the local canal towpath public flashing inquiry.
