Your dad's massively gay,
for former-'Eastender', Beppe.
Mum's absolutely had it,
With blokes running out of serviceable dog-shit.
At the orgy of TV detectives,
Your eyesight was not defective,
A dildo in the hands of Miss Marple,
was giving your dad an arse-full.
Abracadabra!
Dad's magically appeared in the playground in his new micro learner bra!
Oh my days;
Mum's been enveloped in a 'spoons-blokes poos-haze.
Dad's scouted the D.I.Y shops and ended up in B&Q,
He's looking for a machine that will turn his arsehole blue.
Over the years your mum's taken in quite a few male lodgers,
She's also taken a few cocks up the arse (by blokes known as 'Jammy-Rag Dodgers').
Strain.
Pain.
Stain.
...Again?
Mum's throwing a "no loads barred" bogs bumsex party,
Guest of honour? Yep, it's Saikat Chakrabarti.
There's nothing Dad finds scarier
Than a not-completely-hairless pubic area
