Dad's writing to his MP, Shadow Secretary of State for Culture, Media and Sport Thangam Debbonaire
To complain about the fact that he _still_ doesn't have any pubic hair
two wrongs don't make a right,
but two bigblokes' dongs would make dad's night.
Mum's down at the conference centre,
Letting any bloke with a lanyard enter 'er.
Mum prefers em with IQ: ‘low’
And penis size ‘prize marrow’
Dad strode into the "Thickest Penis in Town" competition feeling perhaps prematurely proud,
He left only several minutes later, under a familiarly dark cloud.
Mum is distressingly blasé,
About having her arse handed to her on a tray.
"honest, I'm not a paedophile"
- Dad, caught naked from the waist down in Mothercare's "18mth-3yr" aisle
The closest I can come to flattery;
Your mum's clit on my tongue's like a nine volt battery.
Mum’s outing to Twycross Zoo
Very much a case of ‘monkey see, monkey do’
Result? Spunky wee, spunky poo
After taking on a very large bogs-group,
Mum's arsehole needs time to re-group.
