Dad's opted for knicker style: crotchless,
Which, when you think about it for him, is completely pointless.
For mum it's not "Every Breath You Take,"
More like "Every Cock You Take."
No bloke's ever done porridge,
For what they done to mum's shit-ridge.
Mum and about 85 blokes have just wrapped on a "video nasty",
But alas, mum's entire fee needed to pay for yet another "anus-o-plasty".
Mum's "vitals,"
Can no longer have definite titles.
After bogs-blokes have gone and had their way,
Mum's arsehole resembles an over caramelised crème brûlée.
Down at the police station, dad was forced to confess,
His new range of mince pies did indeed contain dogs-mess.
Oh Jesus!
Where's the fucking tweezers?
Dad's is less a stiffy,
And more an 'iffy.'
