As long as the size is ‘extra large’
Mum doesn’t charge
Dad's watching grainy footage (8mm)
Of him in a playground fiddling with his penis (8mm)
Be prosecuted for criminal negligence after making your new negligee design out of highly flammable material and then burning down the factory by vigorously flouncing around in it
You're just going to have to learn to co-exist,
with this Sainsbury's carrier bag full of piss.
Dad's at the Paralympics,
Campaigning for the inclusion of "men with really small and weird prics".
The carrier bags of shit and piss Dad keeps as memorabilia,
Are from his long and distinguished career in coprophilia.
Dad dons his shellsuit tracksuit,
When it's kids he's in pursuit.
Dad's being done under Trade Descriptions,
After starring in a gay porn film and being unable to spunk or gain erections.
As blokes leave the bogs, mum hands out After Eights,
After they've dined, no feasted, on her poo-gates.
Mum and the blokes are all thoroughly convinced,
That the state of her bumhole should be "thoroughly minced".
