Dad's shoved a grenade up his bum, stood in the nod,
Excitedly waiting for the Bomb Squad.
Mum regards her sex work as more than just a hobby
Despite the majority of what she does being ‘pro bono’ ‘up the jobby lobby’
Mum’s farter:
Taramasalata
Mum's staggering
Home from the bogs after a particularly violent bout of daggering
Mum's in the bogs, absolutely "flying",
At the centre for assisted dying.
In 1972, dad represented Great Britain in the Paralympics,
Winning gold in the 400 metres breast-stroke: category 'men with no pricks.'
Dad doesn't understand the "birds and the bees,"
He's only interested in the under threes.
Dad's absolutely furious,
At being denied his preferred sexual identity: 'kid-curious.'
Mum's in the horror-bogs ceaselessly knob-gobblin',
dad's wrestling with particle physics: the 'measurement problem'.
Under police questioning, dad's story starts to unravel,
As to why he's hanging around girls schools dressed like Jimmy Savile.
