Dad's finally scored with the decrepid Barbara Streisland,
Mum's frozen her own cunt off;
Yep, she's been to Iceland.
Dad remains a total rookie,
In terms of any experience of adult-on-adult nookie.
Emit a truly repellent brown dehydrated Guinness piddle,
In the middle aisle, near the small motoring section, of Bath Lidl.
Fuck my arse loads
until it completely corrodes.
The evidence starkly clear, on library microfiche;
Dad's abysmal flop-on has always stunk of quiche.
Paint a slightly twee watercolour landscape featuring my prolapse
At Bogs-Slut Conference '24, mum's keynote speech extols the virtues,
Of willy-doubles, otherwise known as "taking a fews."
Mum's creeping bum-armageddon,
Only spurs the big-cocked blokes on,
To knob her with greater abandon.
Valentines dad, staring forlorn,
Between his legs, an old dusty acorn.
