Bogs-blokes are voting with their cox,
In mum's knackered old ballot box.
I may not be Archimedes,
But it's obvious you have all the sexual diseases.
In Dad's mind he's Henry Cavill
In reality he's Jimmy Savile.
Did you realise
I was cumming in your eyes?
Mum produces a daily arse-paella,
Which is essentially the spunk of loads of fella.
Dad’s setting up an OnlyFans
In the mistaken belief there’s untapped latent demand for naked photos of ‘pasty, seedy man with smooth area instead of gland’
It's the public toilet sex crucible,
And mum's never ending quest to get an arse full.
Dad's been fucking mostly 'roadkill';
It's the only thing that will keep vaguely still.
Mum's New Year Resolution is, as ever 'to try new things'
Specifically 'to be rear-ended by a dedicated crew of blokes operating one of the Channel Tunnel boring machines'
Mum's made an outrageous bid,
To raise her fee above a quid.
