All in all, I think it's fair to say mum's no longer a spring chicken,
But gents-blokes still agree with the fact it's a cheap place to put your dick in.
A nurse rushed out, she needed an urgent, quiet word with me,
Mum's having to undergo anal reconstruction surgery.
Dad’s had his groin tattooed with a kind of penile Trompe-l'œil
To try and compensate for his total genital fail.
Dad’s once again trying to lure kids into his van with a ‘sweetie trail’
Luckily for them he will of course at the crucial moment genitally ‘fail’
Dad's in his slops, in the 'even more damp patch',
Mum's slap-dash-snatch-latch;
scratch, scratch, scratch.
Dad's working on an exciting new recipie,
Involving loads of other blokes' shit, spunk and wee!
Dad's in the meat wagon on his way to trial, arresting officer deep-throat fuck, retching gin-laced bile.
Mum's not happy!
She's just re-contracted a nasty dose of the clappy!
Dad's been hanging around kids swimming pool flumes,
But in his trunks, he came too soon,
(Also fucked by main character from Boon).
The appeal of it may be somewhat niche,
But mum offers up a lovely 'ploughman's quiche.'
