Upstream (like a salmon).
Deep down, mum knows that the proper 'bigs,'
Are the blokes working out on oil rigs.
Mum's new tattoo,
Is a heart emblazoned with the words "public loo."
Dad’s method of noncing is mostly intellectual
Due to his willy being completely ineffectual
Every morning, dad renews his expectation,
That members of the public will want to see his 'erection.'
Dada penis AKA "1/3rd Andrex" due to performance on these checks:
Soft?
Strong?
Very long?
Mum's up in the Rocky mountains
Causing cock-y fountains
All year round mum's firmly on the books
For brutal bum sessions eroding her nooks.
Mum's noted, over the years,
That visiting bum-pilgrims and anal sightseers,
Either erupt in euphoric cheers,
Or break down in their private tears.
It's interesting to note,
that it's your dad's cock in this stoat.
Mum's surrounded by hangers-on and sycophants,
Who all have one thing in mind: getting in her pants.
