(to tune of ABBA's The Winner Takes It All)
'Your mummy takes them all,
Your daddy's willy: small,
Together in the gents,
Different kinds of sex-offence.'
Mum's a perennial bogs-favourite despite a strong physical resemblance to a melted waxwork of Who frontman Roger Daltrey
Dad's trouser portion: a charitable description would be 'paltry'
a lot of blokes initially assume your mum's actually a tranny,
based on her stubbly chin and grossly distorted fanny.
It's Christmas Eve and mum's brown-eye,
Already resembles an open-topped mince pie.
living in constant fear,
of your dad's promise to gape my rear.
Novice bogs-blokes are often painfully naive,
About the vast dimensions of mum's wizard's sleeve.
Mum's increasingly firm belief in 'the God of the gaps';
Fueled by seeing the face of Jesus in bloke-cum pre-crap(s).
It isn't luck,
That mum's the all-time greatest bogs-fuck.
After a horrific arse mauling from actor, Tim Roth,
It's pants back on for dad, though he's still touching cloth.
Mum's on bogs-hols, smashed on sangria,
With several Spanish gentlemen hanging out of her rear.
