Favourite auntie's wedding,
father shits the bedding.
Animal, vaginable or mineral;
Dad's penis twitch: minimal.
Mum's "down there,"
Has become a medical professional's nightmare.
The phrase 'like a ship coming into port' might sound metaphorical or euphemistic,
But in 1914 (prior to it sinking) your great-grandmother was actually fucked by the Titanic.
Bogs-blokes are playing a weird game of Connect Four,
With the hemorrhoids surrounding mum's back door.
For mum, any treatment of her fanny-warts a no-no,
Between-legs area reminiscent of a 'Clearasil Before-Photo.'
In the 80's, mum was opposed to the development of Trident,
A bit of a hippy, she's also very sexually compliant.
Disturbingly, dad appears to gain some personal reward,
By traipsing dog-shit around the children's cancer ward.
Presenting mum with a two finger Kit Kat,
Is recognised code for one up the bum, and one up the twat.
Dad's telling everyone he's wearing the underwear of men,
But actually he's wearing the knickers of children.
