Mum: the opposite of a ‘cock blocker’
Dad: penis resembles a doll’s house door knocker
Your dad: shit-spam scrambler,
Your mum: turd gulch rambler
(and panhandler).
Your mum had to employ the most significant laws of motion,
to absorb the anti-wrath from his boxer-commotion
(no lotion).
Dad's put the contract out to tender;
"Wanted: deaf, blind, massive-bummed bender
(preferably, a convicted sex offender)".
Have an unusual labia story,
In that yours was genetically grown in a laboratory.
Teaming bogs-blokes, thrusting, legion;
Unremitting bum-pump, mum's vast poo-lesion
(minimal cohesion).
Mum's cracking open the Asti Spumante
To celebrate the return of the legendary 'Signor Willy-Elephanty'
At this point it’s only Mum’s tough, leathery flaps
Preventing complete vagino-anal prolapse
Stalwart bogsmen continually impressed with how mum remains impassive
Even while taking on willies the zookeepers at Whipsnade would consider ‘absolutely massive’
Mum has a bogs special VIP area,
For blokes who are "sized that little bit scarier."
