Mum’s ordered ‘a lot of BumSex’
Delivered by a succession of blokes from FedEx
Use urinal cakes as hand soap
Dad's published a book of nursery rhymes
Which is more a laundry list of attempted sexual crimes
Your dad's been on the internet and has placed several lifelong subscriptions,
for material that involves pissing on electric fences (blokes with anal afflictions).
Dad asked to leave parents evening,
Due to his enquiries about other children along with heavy breathing.
Dad's formed an strong working alliance,
With prominent members of Extremely Thin Willy Medical Science.
Qt the end of the night, when the landlord calls "time",
Every bloke's popped in the gents to do mum a bum-crime.
Mum has never been described as "eye-candy,"
But, fuck me, when working the bogs she's handy.
Mum gives blokes carte blanche,
To poke her lunch.
Mum's not looking for some solo Superman,
She's more after a large, sex-starved, "group-a-man."
