Mum's had every type of group sexual experience
From 'Riverdance'
To 'Deliverance'
Mum’s got but one resolution every year
And that’s to outdo her rival ‘no-knickers Nora’ for ‘number serviced via the rear’
Dad's standing in the election on a strong single issue:
A demand to have his face imprinted on all primary school toilet tissue.
Dad's prone to periods of deep introspection,
About why exactly, he can't seem to maintain an erection.
Dad finally banned from bra shop, for requesting fittings daily,
In vain attempt to reverse willy-faily.
Mum's new tattoo,
Is a heart emblazoned with the words "public loo."
Mum can be accused of micromanagin'
The process of having her back doors stoved in.
The blokes have all got mum the same thing for Christmas:
Yep, a pistoning up "where shit is".
Mum's completed construction work on bogs wheelchair access,
Allowing blokes immobilised due to penis size, to get to her poo-axis.
Dad knows it's a tough gig,
Having a willy that's not very big.
