despite the tremendous amount of laughing and jeering,
the sound of my anus tearing is all that i'm hearing.
At the orgy of TV detectives,
Your eyesight was not defective,
Your dads size was not at all princely,
By comparison with Doctor Quincy.
Mum's favourite French dish is Coq au Vin,
Followed, of course, by cock of man.
It's the evening shift, and in blokes troop,
To form line behind mum's poo-scoop.
Dad lying awake at night, endlessly relitigating old arguments,
About whether he can be said to have anything at all going on in either the "sexual" or "genital" departments.
Let's not get into semantics,
But mum's 'privates' are more 'publics.'
Top of dad's wish list ,
Covered in piss and shit.
Yo, yo, what's the 'haps'?
You're completely smothered in crap(s).
Bum-porn fans become all misty-eyed,
At talk of mum's 1972 breakthrough "I've Been Brown Clown-Pied."
People are harassing dad randomly,
Because everyone's heard about his prick-catastrophe.
