Staple my balls to my face.
(Mum to 'peloton' of blokes behind her : "FASTER")
Blokes, alarmed mum might be going "off the boil",
Urgently airdrop in a load of dog-soil.
Dad's feeling thoroughly chastised
After being caught exaggerating the size of his gens (describing them as 'thimble-sized');
Dad's penis swamped and indistinct behind that pink child's plaster;
Foreign dignitaries with expressions that couldn't be more aghast(er).
Local blokes hooked up to a GPS tracker,
And summoned when mum's arsehole approaches category: 'slacker.'
Dad's somehow making money selling his own crap,
His awful turds are now an integral ingredient in Mcdonalds' McWraps.
mum's nightly performance in the gents' is like a burglary (smash 'n' grab);
whereas dad's pathetic attempts at sexual congress are more like a sherbert sweet (dib, dab).
Mum's rough tit seam, dribbling shit stream, dad's nothing inbetween, fuck attempt: experimental chimpanzee'n.
Your dad was left champing at the sexual 'bit',
after filling the bog with horror-dogshit.
Due to the amount of surgical reconstruction the entrance to Mum’s womb
Is somewhat akin to ‘Trigger’s broom’
