plectrum.
speculum.
rectum.
your mum.
all valid ways to make me cum.
Mum knows bogs-blokes will put on the anal after burners,
When she sticks on the encouraging "Simply The Best" by Tina Turner.
Swap my tits and my genitals back
It's only halfway through free practice,
And the blokes have already knackered mum's bum-elastics.
Your dad requires specialist made-to-measure tweezers,
For when he wants to try and put his willy in geezers.
Mum’s not really one for ‘small talk’
But she is one for ‘large pork’.
Mum’s bog-bloke ‘meet-cute’
Is always ‘in the bogs while being violently rammed up the poo-chute’
Mum'll do gropes and feels,
For Happy Meals.
Dad always gets a trouser bulger,
When thinking about James Bulger.
