Sometimes blokes say they can still hear Big Baz, brave bogs-bloke spelunker
Lost in the recesses of Mum's cavernous bum-bunker
It's Christmas Day, and mum's not in the kitchen stuffing the turkey,
She's still in the bogs, getting stuffed by huge blokes from Turkey.
There's no need to be remotely obtuse,
your dad in the sack is of no practical use.
Bedsit dad listening to Eternal Flame by The Bangles,
Because there's nothing between his legs where things normally dangles.
After another of mum's infamous week-long bogs-binges,
Her knackered arsehole has been fucked off it's hinges.
Mum's been fucked so hard it's affected her hearing,
Oblivious to the sound of the marching army of big-blokes nearing.
(Update on Dad: still queering).
Mum recalls the nights watching BBC Ceefax,
Post-shift waiting for her arsehole to relax,
From being at completely 'max.'
today dad's in a bit of a funk -
last night, he wasn't completely covered in spunk.
Let's open a book,
On how many blokes your mum took.
