Mum's navigating the currently rough economic seas by carefully managing her hedge funds,
Dad's hoping to raise a few quid by sucking off Noel Edmonds.
Dad's penis swamped and indistinct behind that pink child's plaster;
Foreign dignitaries with expressions that couldn't be more aghast(er).
Dad's been preparing Sunday dinner all week,
It's a lovely bum-induced 'bubble and squeak!'
Pre-shift and mum's got nothing to lose,
But her poos.
Dad is featured in the new Oxford English Dictionary
As the definition of 'sexual inadequacy'
Dad's once again reneged,
On court orders to stay away from areas children played.
Mum's having some kind of existential crises,
But she's far from alone in this world; she's got lots of pubic lices.
Mum’s blasé about the dangers
Of being continually pounded by farmhands with huge wangers
Mum + bogsblokes have become extremely prolific
In enacting scenarios sexual / horrific.
Mum's ringing Deliveroo,
To see if they can send out some fresh dog-poo.
