Mum's arsehole is an "open goal",
To any bloke with a thick pole.
While, 98% of the time, on the Skol.
Dad nervously clasps his prosecco flute,
At singles night for blokes (category: penis minute).
In the mathematical world it's quite sensational
Dad's been awarded the Fields Medal in topology for 'having a penis which is literally one-dimensional'
Politics Dad launching another of his Parish Council bids
His platform this time? ‘Free ‘health examinations’ for all kids’
Unusually pungent stench emitting from your mother's shit-slot,
A rummage around reveals what's what...
A week old salami some bloke had left up there to rot!!
In East Midlands parlance, mum's now 'reet mardi';
Very few of the bog-blokes can be described as 'farmyard'(y).
Even though his penis has been medically proven as inneffectual,
Dad's still classified by police as a 'dangerous homosexual.'
Absolutely insist that I ingest,
the piss and shit section of the "Reader's Digest".
Mum's plan?
Taking pricks from massive to gargantuan.
What's that horrid cunt-stench wafting?
Mum's back on the game in the gents-bogs-lofting.
