Dad's doing the rounds with a dubious penile schematic
Implying 'coke-can width' and erections 'not problematic'.
I made out the complaints about the massive dick,
In amongst the wrenching barfs of you being sick.
After taking on a very large bogs-group,
Mum's arsehole needs time to re-group.
Mum (sexually) experienced her bogs 'worst nightmare' ;
Finishing a shift without a colossal cunt-to-arse-tear.
Bogs-tourists are ushered through in wide-eyed groups,
All hoping to catch a glimpse of mum's infamous crap-hoop.
Dad didn't get a callback from the US predecessor to Dragon's Den, "Shark Tank",
For his proposed video series, "Helping Toddlers Wank".
Pony-fuck parade dad (sperm jacket: equestrian),
he's been fisting horses in sex acts un-pedestrian.
Mum: large and in charge,
Dad: petite and discreet.
I'm covered in your diarrhea,
And soon to have your gonorrhea.
Dad's a porn star (category homo),
Watches his films back on slo-mo,
(Uh-oh, prick still won't grow tho').