Mum's on Tinder
Swiping to add more blokes to the long queue already behind her
Objectification of mum: cunt / arse, which one?
Most blokes go for the former.
Your dad? Fuck knows really, he's just a 'sexual bench-warmer.'
Early years bogs-blokes knew they'd 'struck oil,'
When mum first started working "the hole from where she doth soil."
Dad's confused because he's been told to attend Nonce School,
But then receives lessons about not hanging around primary school.
Mum's not wary of 'Greeks bearing gifts'
(Especially those with capacity to cause serious anal rifts)
Police have accumulated an enormous amount of concerning data;
Relating to dad being a habitual inappropriate masturbater.
It's more a functional rather than romantic gesture,
That pre-shift, mum opts to remove her dentures.
father's had his flop-on cryogenically suspended;
everyone that's seen it's been massively offended.
In the bogs-world, mum's regarded as the leading proponent,
Of the "Smear and Ingest" method of processing bloke's excrement.
