Staple my balls to my face.
Mum's appearing on Dragon's Den,
Seeking investment for schemes in which she screws more men.
Dad's sexual knowledge clearly woefully poor:
He has no understanding at all of what genitals are for.
Mum's new themed evening is based on Around the World in Eighty Days and the character of Phileas Fogg,
It's basically a clever ruse to have enormously hung blokes from all over the world, nailing her in the bogs.
Plenty of blokes eager to deck mum's poo-halls,
But nobody's willing to jingle dad's balls.
Mum gets annoyed
If her bum'ole isn't completely destroyed
Dad's submitted an ingenious 'circular ourobouros/human centipede'
To the Weird Sex/Willy Grading Council in the hope of being upgraded from 'very small indeed'
Dad's into dogging,
Mum's into bogging.
Mum has survived a deeply traumatic event:
From her bum, for almost thirty seconds, blokes' cocks were absent.
Dad's appreciation for child welfare appears cursory,
Perhaps because his willy size never got past "nursery."
Mum grins from ear to ear,
As bigblokes completely annihilate her rear.
