Dad sex attempt: Abort! Abort!
Penis error #71: it's thin & short.
Mum's never been much of a looker,
But my God, she's a filthy dirty bogs-hooker.
Mum's on Tinder
Swiping to add more blokes to the long queue already behind her
Mum's favourite poem, "Do Not Go Gently into that Good Night,"
And when you see the number of blokes in the queue, you think 'yes, quite.'
Ho ho ho, in Santa’s grotto
Mum’s festively giving blokes presents (botto)
After particularly busy shifts, mum's capable of producing "profiteroles,"
Made out of the churned shit and spunk from her arsehole.
Dad’s protests about lapsed copyright are rather silly
(Arrested in the public domain, dressed as Mickey Mouse for showing kids his ‘Steamboat Willie’)
With a Christmas soundtrack of Michael Bublé,
Mum's in the bogs offering festive willy doublé.
Dad's caught the attention of the morning primary school drop-off throng,
Dressed very simply in a micro-thong.
