What's that weird, grey, shrivelled tube?
It's your penis of course.
Doesn't touch the sides either; no need for lube.
Your dad's in the bathroom, bleeding as he wanks,
High contrast with the porcelain: 'Armitage Shanks'.
Mum's able to offer blokes highly advanced options in accessing her orifices,
Confused onlooker dad, remains one of lifes sex-novices.
nothing in the world is as limp as your dick - it's proved. probability of >0.0000001 that it has never, ever moved.
after conducting a thorough analysis,
dad concluded that he needed to be entirely covered in piss.
After the total destruction of your mum's shitter,
Now pretty much any bloke'll fit 'er.
At the Penis Championships Dad's the source of much mirth
After it emerges that on the entry form he had in fact _not_ mistakenly written in the box marked 'length' his 'girth'
Now the tree's been put away, for your mum, it's back to the grind,
And the very serious business of letting blokes destroy her behind.
It was this that distracted the joggers in the park,
your dad revealing his mini-prick
(penis size: quark).
Mum's placing heavy tariffs,
On blokes turning up with 'unstiffs.'
