Item #541 found lodged in the depths of mum's cavernous twat.
It's a porcelain scale model of Eastender's Adam Woodyatt.
Dad's gone on an appalling,
Primary school kerb-crawling.
Dad’s setting up an online dating profile
He’s said he’s ’sexually liberal’ because there was no option for ‘paedophile’
Mum's ruthlessly decided to ethnically cleanse,
All the slightly thin blokes from the mens.
Mum's anal history,
Will go down in the annals of history.
I've consulted Chinese Sages;
Your blighted arsehole was fucked for ages.
Perhaps unfairly, mum's interpretation of "thin,"
Is anything less than "upturned wheelie bin."
Mum's arsehole has just let loose,
An almost perfectly formed dog-shit mousse.
Rewrite all famous songs featuring the word ‘kiss’ but replacing it with the word ‘piss’
Mum doesn't feel it's in any way tacky,
To launch a new bogs night: 'Cheese, Wine and Bukkake.'
