Dimensional portal-tear piss.
Mum's in the bogs every night doing bum-stunts;
Dad? Claims (implausibly) that he "did sex once"
Dad's alone on Valentine's, taking it hard;
Mum's with fifty or sixty blokes, taking it, hard.
It was when we were listening to Lynard Skynard,
That you finally dislocated my innards.
For Valentines, mum's not interested in chocolates, bubbly or flowers,
She just wants to be in the bogs, getting buggered for hours and hours.
Initially subtract from, but subsequently multiply by a large amount, my sexual problems
Mum's certainly no debutante,
In taking it up the crap-font.
Dad's bragging about his freshly made ravioli,
But there are strong suspicions that it contains something unholy.
Wear a sports bra even though you don’t do sports, or have tits
Dad gets very dodgy spam in his inbox,
Mum gets chunks of meat in her shitbox.
Mum's being 'plugged' by a few local electricians,
Dad's dodgily wired willy can't achieve any erections.
