Dad was blessed with a willy the size of a little 'bobble,'
Which is about as sexually appealing as the blown out reactor core of Chernobyl.
Bloke to Dad: "Is it in?"
Dad to bloke: "Yes, (*shameful sob*), it's just thin."
Dad's failed to find a publisher,
For his paper entitled "why child sex is great and grown-up sex is much more rubbisher".
It's the pits;
Head to toe smothering in liquid guinness shit(s).
By end of shift, mum's arsehole emits a sort of frothy brown latte,
That smells like gone off duck pรขtรฉ.
Local authorities are on high alert,
After dad was spotted out in a micro-skirt.
Mum's life story,
Is exceptionally whore-y.
Dad claims he's the 'modeller,'
Of lingerie for toddler.
It's January and mum's hitting the gym,
To work on a more bogs-hardy quim.
Mum's still caked in quite a lot of dog crap,
So she's waving the blokes in for an extra "victory lap".