Staple me onto your crotch.
Mum demands cast iron promises,
That all bogs-blokes have "diamond-cutter John Thomases."
Bum-docs now saying to mum that it's "not advisable,"
To entertain any bloke who presents as "sizeable."
It's always a long, drawn out battle,
to stop dad anally fucking cattle.
Bogs-blokes joy! For tis the season,
For festive fun in mum's nether regions!
If a thick bloke gets but a whiff of mum's brown,
She'll be on the fast train to Sore Bumhole Town.
Your mum is well known to be able to excellently manhandle,
Any size (usually massive) bloke's panhandle.
Unfortunately, it was only after they had wed,
That mum realised dad was absolutely useless in bed.
Mum’s anus is a brown lodestar
For all gents obsessed with sex in the rear
It's a desperately close call,
As to whether dad's got anything between his legs at all.
Village-panto father, a dandy little daddy,
Starring role;
'Prime Minister - Weird Dick, Golf Caddy').
