Things that make you go 'Oh dear...'.
Mum’s getting her ‘triple jab’
(Arsehole, mouth, badly packed kebab)
Mum always wins first place gold,
Category, bogs-whore most frequently arseholed.
Dad's been foiled,
In his attempt to visit the Christmas Market "baby-oiled."
Mum’s box isn’t exactly ‘box-fresh’
After a vigorous bogs-sesh
Mum: Welsh miners,
Dad: Welsh minors.
As, on her tits, another bloke's turd is curled,
Mum feels marginally less alone in the world.
Bogs-docs advise mum it would not be sensible,
To perform too many more willy-double.
One would have thought mum wouldn't have so aggressively whore'd;
Immediately after slopping you out in the bin of the maternity ward.
Now on view:
Mum's new vid, The (87th) Art of the Poo-Screw.
Publish a 1000 page, densely printed leather-bound tome called ‘How to wipe your bottom, for people who don’t know how to wipe their own bottom’ and then go around leaving a copy in a drawer, Gideon bible style, in every place I visit.
