Mum offers entirely free access,
To her poo-axis.
Loo-fellas well contemplate how the saying "the squeaky wheel gets the grease",
Describes aptly mum's habitual behaviour re: bogs, blokes, her, and her shit-crease.
Just when you thought his ‘sex life’ couldn’t get grimmer
Dad’s lifetime banned from B&Q for ‘trying out’ a strimmer
Mum's enduring memory of ex Manchester United mid-fielder, Paul Scholes,
Is his insistence on sticking his balls up her bum, scoring 'poo goals'.
Dad's submitted an ingenious 'circular ourobouros/human centipede'
To the Weird Sex/Willy Grading Council in the hope of being upgraded from 'very small indeed'
Dad's caught the attention of the morning primary school drop-off throng,
Dressed very simply in a micro-thong.
In the nineties, mum thought that someone could still 'build a birdhouse' in her soul;
But now her bad bum is permanently set to poolip status : 'salad bowl'.
Friday night and bogs fun is due to resume,
As blokes take turns sliding down mum's poo-flume.
Mum's organised the annual Bogs Easter Egg Hunt,
Up her cunt!
