Staple my balls to my face.
The one advantage of your dad's limited dong is that it allows him the room to to wear his favourite ladies thong; disease and bad genes have ensured his penis is almost totally gone.
In 1972, dad represented Great Britain in the Paralympics,
Winning gold in the 400 metres breast-stroke: category 'men with no pricks.'
Unfortunately, it was only after they had wed,
That mum realised dad was absolutely useless in bed.
There is very little left intact,
Your anal canal has been thoroughly attacked.
Mum does become quite potty mouthed,
When she's getting her botty ploughed.
It's International World Thin Willy Awareness Day,
And spokesman dad's doing the morning interview rounds, with plenty of personal things to say.
Overhead kick my twat off like Pelé;
Shouting 'fuck me, that's incredibly smelly'.
Sexual activity now kept to a minimum, following the utter destruction of your shitbox 'n' perineum.
To blokes, mum appears to have a generously divisible twat,
Dad's continuing his affair with ex-Crew Alexandra, Aston Villa, Bari, Juventus, Sampdoria, Arsenal, Nottingham Forest and England World Cup Italia '90 last minute-extra-time-volley-goalscorer, David Platt.
Your Dad doesn't lack taste or feeling.
All the while I was banging him he sipped Darjeeling.
