Two bottles of white cider and about thirty blokes in,
Parity reached, between sizes of mum's bum and wheelybin.
TRUE OR FALSE?
Did mum used to be in a band,
Called 'Mum and The Farmhands?'
Mum’s doing her annual ‘24 hours of Le Mans’
Featuring many many of le mans
All bogs tales are about giving mum a good stuffing;
Her bum has become a sort of bogs-MacGuffin.
Mum and Battersea Dogs’ home have entered a partnership agreement
Whereby she ‘disposes’ of their entire output of canine excrement
Cold night in the gents, mum's nips like docker's thumbs
Dad's keeping warm though: arse full of old sailor's cum!
Mum's got the attention span,
Of how long it takes to satisfy the next bogs-man.
Dad's put the contract out to tender;
"Wanted: deaf, blind, massive-bummed bender
(preferably, a convicted sex offender)".
Mum's writing her autobiography and referring to a thesaurus,
Desperately looking for alternative words for 'anus.'
