Utterly destroy my arsehole.
Yes, mum's worked the oil rigs,
And, yes, the willies were bigs.
Dad often turns up at learner bra shops under the guise,
Of someone who has an appropriately expert understanding of bra size.
One of mum's memorable "big'uns,"
Was TVs Christopher Biggins.
Mum's enlisted farm hands to erect a 'big bog-bloke gantry',
With stunning views and ample parking over her fucked piss-pantry.
Dad's sexual peak has been and gone;
In the 80's he fucked that tablet of Gaviscon.
Dad's new boyfriend, scary-poof Ross Kemp,
It's sweet they both have willy size 'as if in low temp.'
Mum's sole concerm,
Is willies that are big and firm.
In tribute to the classic 'Thirty-Nine Steps', a film of Alfred Hitchcock's,
Your mum's film 'The Thirty-Nine Blokes' has her playing a filthy wagon to which your dad tries to hitch cocks
Mum's relationship with bog-blokes is symbiotic,
They get holes, she gets prick (thick).
Mum'll be OK in the recession, in the bogs she's her own boss,
Dad's in trouble - he's just been fired from his job as fluffer for BBC presenter Jonathan Ross.
