Dad sex attempt: Abort! Abort!
Penis error #71: it's thin & short.
Cold night in the gents, mum's nips like docker's thumbs
Dad's keeping warm though: arse full of old sailor's cum!
It's the 2009 Annual Festival of Piss,
Dad's gone with a shit in a bag - he clearly hasn't got the gist.
Your mum's not really yet felt the pinch of the recession,
She's a tuppeny slut in the 'world's oldest profession.'
you like to jizz on your favourite mag,
the one where your mum eats poo from a bag.
Mum has sown 1000s of bloke's oats,
From Land's End to John o' Groats.
Far from innocuous,
Was the state of mum's undercarriage after entertaining infamous bogs-bloke, Steve "The Octopus."
Dad's spent months touring Clwyd,
Attempting to emit a milky fluid.
Dad always gets a trouser bulger,
When thinking about James Bulger.
Willy (Dad's): thin, covered in fungus
Willy (Mum's preferred): bog-bloke, humungous
