Mum's not particularly scrupulous
About who she lets into her poo-palace
Oh for fuck's sake,
Mum's been involved in an appalling bukkake
(she's been 'iced' like a five-tier wedding cake).
Jesus Christ, call 999!
Your mum's been the victim of horrific anal crime!
Weather report: 'polar front';
it's emanating from your mum's arctic cunt.
In 80s Amsterdam, Mum would charge 15 guilders
For groups of 15 builders
Mum's in the bogs every night doing bum-stunts;
Dad? Claims (implausibly) that he "did sex once"
Nothing will be left to chance,
We'll call a fucking ambulance.
Dad's nose to the ground for "little boy cunt",
And genitally, rather "thin in front".
The only 'skill' or 'endorsement' dad has received on LinkedIn,
Is: 'Thin.'
The area from which mum stool,
Has descended into bogs-mob rule.